If you feel it, we can sense it. I can sense it over the computer with H, when we chat. Over the phone when he's across the country, & when I'm in the same room.
Sometimes......... I wish I couldn't.
...and it works both ways. When she is feeling distant, or we have these nice close, great times and then pulls back, it makes it difficult for me to maintain my positive feelings towards her.
This last couple of weeks as we have calmed down from what appeared to be some sort of seven month "honeymoon period"(was that possible even though she insisted nothing had changed?), I find myself wondering if it is just her way of trying to introduce normalcy herself, or her realizing that she had been giving me the wrong idea and wants to pull back so I don't get too comfortable.
I understand her lack of trust and the fact that it may or may not ever come back, and that no matter how well things feel she may not let herself fall in love with me again.
But, lately, because so much time has passed, and things have been so good without any hint of a verbal commitment, I find myself not trusting her actions.....does that make sense?
I find myself still thinking that she is convinced I am OK with an eventual separation and that allows her to act as if it is OK to make plans for the house, act like all is well and go about our lives as if we are a happy couple...but in her head think.."He KNOWS what I want, I TOLD him nothing has changed, so it's his problem if he has the wrong idea".
Guess it comes down to me either staying the course, or speaking up and putting her on the spot.....aarrggggg....LOL
Hey, it has been almost 2 months now since the last reminder....that's a record so far.
