Sophie, You have to start changing the way you think. He's not rational in the same way that he use to be. He is now the mirror image of the man you knew pre-crisis. When they are in crisis, they are the total opposite.
Waiting for an invitation is one of those things that is not normal for most people. He feels like he's not part of the family any longer, therefore, as a friend/guest, he feels he needs to be invited.
I strongly suggest that you read the mlc resources thread and a lot of the postings in the MLC archives. Your h is very normal for a crisis individual at this time.
You are hurting from the rejection because you have expectations. If you drop your expectations to zero, you won't be expecting him to accept. It is important not to build your expectations/hopes up high because you get hurt every time. If he accepts, okay, if he doesn't, that's okay too. If your best friend declined an invitation, would you feelings be hurt? Look at him as a friend and not your spouse. Better yet, as a paper boy and nothing more.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
