Thanks Red...it turns out that D23 will have to have a c-section and it is scheduled for December 1 unless she goes in early...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
So after ten days, H finally called me. It was almost surreal, I had sent a message asking about our final hearing for the BK, which I am sure is next month, and he called. Spent twenty minutes on the phone with him just talking, with him asking me if anything was wrong, if I was okay. Typical of his pull back. But I am strangely peaceful, not hoping, just praying he is okay. That is all I can do for now. Then, yesterday he sent me a text, and we did the texting thing for a while. I find this all so ... typical. I have finally managed to get to a point where I am letting go. I still love him, don't get me wrong, but I also realize that I can't do anything more. I have held on for so long, and so I am letting go. I don't know if he feels it. But I know I feel better doing it. It is taking that final leap of faith, to know that whatever the decision is, it is out of my hands and in God's right now. I am finally to a place where i am making plans that do not include me thinking about him. And I am okay with that.
I don't know. Turns out he is not doing so well at work. He has been placed on some kind of structured hours because he was so behind and has been working sixteen hour days. When I reminded him of my b-day that week, he said oh sh*t, sorry, congratulations. I feel sad for him, that his life is so miserable, but no desire to try to make it better, mainly because I know I can't.
Oh well...
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
He sent me a text yesterday just saying he hated dish network. I laughed a little and asked why, and he went on to explain, nothing significant. I told him that since the dish was giving him problems, in the meantime he could watch his shows online, yada yada. He told me he was working.
I thought, uh huh, you don't think about me...but you decided to send me that in the middle of your workday? I always wondered if work was keeping him to busy to think of me.
Yeah. I think I need to stop thinking so much.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
And...no baby yet...impatience is beginning to rear its ugly head in the form of my daughter who is ready to kill her H!!!!!! LOL
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
My boss, C, is a great guy, and I am very blessed to be a part of this firm. I knew this, but didn't know how much until this morning.
We have a baby lawyer, J, who is about 27. She works hard, really hard. She puts so much into her work that sometimes she is here very late.
J and her b/f were going to drive 9 hours to visit her family for Thanksgiving. Her b/f is also a lawyer, but works for a city agency so his hours are very normal. Over the weekend, he broke up w/ J. Why anyone would want to is beyond me because she is truly a wonderful woman.
J has kept her chin up. She is going through what we all go through, blaming herself, crying, hurting, but she does not let it show. She always has a smile.
C found out that J was still planning the 9 hour drive to visit her family, alone. When he approached the subject of flying, J said the airfare was outrageous, and that she would be fine driving.
Last night, C looked at J, said you are flying, and bought her plane ticket.
I feel truly blessed to be a part of this firm.
I am thankful for many things, but I think when I came here, this place saved me. Obviously, it has done the same thing for others.
In terms of work, I am home.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
I don't know yet. I was supposed to go to Colorado, but I really can't afford to right now. My XH invited me to have dinner w/ him and D12, and although I know D12 wants me to, I really don't want to spend the day w/ XH. I am trying to gage what would be best for D12, but am coming up short.
What are you doing?
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Cuz you certainly aren't the reason! 