Mt, go get a pair of oh crap I think they are called hemostat I think. They look like scissors but they lock and are for gripping things, can probably get them at a pharmacy. They are great for getting hair out of drain.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
Morning all, Hope I do hope you got some sleep last night, where you up reading? Thanks for the suggestions on the drain, she has a thing to put in there to keep the hair from going down, but doesn't use it...imagine that. it was GROSSSSSSS. H got home around 7:00, and helped me get it cleaned out. Needle nose pliers and then a wire hanger that he took a part and put a hook on the end finally got it cleaned out at the pea trap. Then H went out and got one of the huge jugs of bleach he brought home in July when I was washing the house with it. Two weeks ago he said he would pour some in my small clorox jug, so I can use it in the house, but H hadn't had time. Well the tub was so nasty cause SD would just let the water rise and not clean it out. H took a 2 liter bottle cut the top off and used it as a funnel, but the just was so big it would tip over so, I took off my shirt and jeans and got in the tub and held the funnel so he could pour, then I cleaned out the tub. One thing that I hope is a good sign, is H went and got his toolbox out of the jeep, and left it in the house, didn't carry them back out.
I was watching Bourne Utlimatium when he got home, I sat down on the couch and H laid down. I still had my headache, had turned into a Migraine at that point. H was trying not to touch me on the couch at first, but then did put his feet on mine. After I let the dog out once, I told H to stretch out cause he was trying to sleep. So I laid on the floor, H gave me a pillow. I fell asleep but woke up around 10:00, and , I covered H up and went to bed.
This morning, I got him up, and H actually smiled at first, I know it is like when I wake up and reality hasn't hit me yet and I feel really good and then it hits me what life is really like. I told him dinner was at 6:00, and asked if that was OK, H said yes. I heard him in the middle of the night, with heartburn, I asked him if he had heartburn and if he took a zantac. H said yes. I said what caused that, H said he didn't know.
I am sure he went to OW's house before he came home yesterday. So I guess now I am just patient? Not really sure what I do? H is still mad I can tell that. I know he will say he is made because of the stuff I started with him and the phone calls, but I really think it is for the boundary. But I don't know I guess what do I do? Wait and see?
My head still hurts some today. Most of the time when I sleep over night they will go away, not so much today.
Thanks again, everyone for thinking and praying. It makes me feel good.
((((MT)))) I'm so sorry about your headache. I also get migraines. Actually did not have any while I was going thru treatment, but of course they started back up when H began his MLC. So, mine are mostly stress related. They last a couple of days, and will not go away without sleep. So sorry that you will be doing your mom's dinner today with it. I know that cuts down on the fun.
Don't worry about him being mad. It is the boundary. I would just ignore his mood - the being mad, and pretend that it doesn't exist.
I would also, at some point, probably before he leaves for work tomorrow morning, quietly restate it.
I would say something very calm and unemotional...like "H, I know that Friday night was pretty emotional for both of us, but I meant what I said about not sharing you." Leave it at that.
You have drawn your boundary and he can't toss it off to too much to drink. He can think about it as his choice and he cannot pretend to you that he is not doing what he is.
I hope that you get some relief from your head. You probably could use a good neck and head rub!
I'll be thinking about you and check on you later!
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Also, when my H and I were in the middle of batteling over his EA, I often felt like I was the "mommy" and he was the willfull teenager and I was telling him that he could not "hang out" with a certain friend.
Like any kid would, he resisted like hell. But I stuck to my guns. Because of his fog, it took a while of him being away from her before his mind actually began to clear.
It is a fine line, you just need to keep stating your boundary, but make it his choice. As long as he has your cake and hers he has all that he needs. Make your cake the one that he wants more, and that he is concerned about losing.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Oh yes, ummmm hemostats! Kel....we all know what you were doing in highschool lol!
I was just kidding...a lot of kids had them hanging from their rear view mirrors. They were decorated with beads and feathers etc. really quite pretty, and usefull for other things besides getting hair out of the bathtub
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
Hope, didn't take any offense. I was a child of the 80's, who didn't try? But we have them cuz H is paramedic. The scissors they use for cutting clothes off---great for cutting anything. I just love it. So no worries. Got a little sidetracked yesterday that is all.
MT-night sounded calm and yes now patience. This didn't start overnight and it won't end that easily either. I agree with Hope, restate calmly, I love the way she worded. But you have to give him time to decide. I know that sucks, why should he need time? Because head isn't clear right now Because he is not in a place that makes a whole lot of sense. Logic would say it really is an easy choice. But if he jumps to a decision based on logic, it will probably not be the right choice in the end. I think that is why MLC or any crisis really is a little harder on men. They are facing emotions that are not logical and that is harder for them than women. They can't find the magic "fix" for the feelings. It is very confusing. So yes, some patience is called for. You will know when it is time to not be patient anymore.
I'm glad H helped with tub. Hope, glad you are enjoying the book!
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
hey Hope, thanks I was thinking I would probably need to say it again. OH THIS SUCKS SO BAD!! I know everyone here has to deal with it, and it is so easy to tell someone else what is obvious they need to do, but when it is me, it is so much harder, even though I know it is obvious too. I hate the fact that I just love being around him, even now with everything, I love the feeling of sitting at the end of the couch with his feet touching mine. I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS. Sorry need to yell that for a bit. My dogs are looking at me again. I know they aren't kids or people but I feel bad they have to deal with us adults (not acting like adults right now) being idiots.
Time to go bake a pie, might make some pecan tarts for H to take to work tomorrow too. It is that time to start baking! Have a great day!
I do thank you all for the great support and advice, sometimes, I don't want to hear it but I NEED TO!!!!
Thank Kel- I have to patient, something I am learning I guess, not sure how well I am learning it. LOL. It is time to GAL and DB like crazy and make sure he knows all that he will be missing here. Thing is he knows, hell he tells me She doesn't even compare. Then WTF???? UGG!!! OK, I am done with the venting for now. Have a wonderful day today.
