PM Thread #2

[PositivelyMommy]

Hello {{{Tawyna}}} {{{Davidswife}}} and {{{CIW}}}.

I woke up feeling a bit down still so went for a jog with S8. He is such a sweetie. We just started this together because I wanted to get some exercise in on Sundays. I feel very different on days when I exercise and days I don't. So last Sunday, S8 suggested we start jogging instead of walking. So we did. He struggled a little at first but I kept encouraging him and now he wants to do this with me every week.So it's very good. But I still felt down after the exercise.

H showed up, I put on my DB face, friendly, happy but not pursuing. We went out to lunch as a family, as we usually do. We talked about the children a bit and he left because of business trip. I don't know if that's the truth or not but am trying not to care too much. What if it's the truth, what if it's just a lie? Doesn't make much difference anyway because in his mind he doesn't have to answer to me anyway. In reality, he can do what he wants because if I ask questions, then it will seem controlling and I don't want to seem like my old self.

CIW, thanks for your detailed e-mail on how to be you. It's very interesting for me because I have the same personality. I really need to improve that part of me. I will watch out for the book. I DO need to become stronger for myself, not for anyone else. I DO want to believe that I am worthy of love. I DO need to work on being an independant woman.

I have a pretty self-esteem but I do let my man dictate our choices in the past because I believed (wrongly) that would make him love me more. I really need to work on myself, not from improving self-esteem point of view but be more assertive without the anger or what you called it, 'covert contracts'. I thought about this concept all day and I DO do it all the time. You are right on point here.

Great advice! Think of anything else, just let me know!