lan - I believe that one of the major problems in my marriage was me failing to meet my W's physical needs - too absorbed in other things and not emotionally available to her in the way that is needed for a meaningful physical relationship to flourish.

But, i did not appreciate the depth of hurt experienced by my W as a result or any real understanding of its importance - I think Kalni's suggested approach is spot on - it communicates things in such a was as would have made a difference to me I think.

Can you find your own words for Kalni's "theme" ? Would these feel comfortable to you?

KBO - GFI


Me: 40ish
W: 40ish
Together: 20 ish years
Married: 10ish Years