I agree with Sara. And I agree with Doc that you said what should have been said. Bravo, lady -- that took guts.
But remember that it takes a while for these kind of relationship facts to begin to sink in with we males. We're not really wired the way you women are, which is both good and bad. As such men tend to not think of the relationship the same way -- we assume the commitment is a "done deal" and that it merely requires each of us fill our respective perceived roles. H assumes that since he is working his butt off to support the family, he has fulfilled his primary obligation in the M. That's his perspective -- and that is underlined by what society also expects for the H's role, right or wrong. Thus it's not an easy thing for H's to grasp that they have additional obligations to support the health of the M.
(Truth be told, W's also tend to have misconceptions about the marital R that they too need to overcome. But that's another topic for discussion.)
I sense that your H is too much like most of us with "testosterone poisoning", slow on the uptake with regards to relationships. You may have to remind him subtly once more that the two of you are drowning here -- if he realizes that what he values most -- what he really values most -- is in honest-to-goodness jeopardy, he might figure out he can no longer bury his head in the sand.
