Once you do that...you'll have a different perspective...if H is willing to walk away from this super cool woman, then he's not in his right mind, and maybe I don't need that!
Yeah you are all super cool women!
M42 S12/D9 T17/M12 Bomb 1 3/22/06 Bomb 2 7/11/08 Bomb 3 7/31/08 W Filed 8/1/08 D granted 12/17/08 D Finalized 1/29/09
A man who compromises his principles never had them in the first place.
Amy..I was gonna say..I guess that will be my new mantra "I'm a super cool woman that no man should want to walk away from"..I'll add that one to the one someone said "he/she should be crawling thru broken glass to get back to you" I like those
You are right about the not expecting tho..I've just decided to just DO the stuff that hub normally does because I'm here a lot more than he does..like I cleaned out the cat boxes last night which hub usually does on Thurs nights because our trash pick up is Friday..then I took the trash can down to the curb when I was done..stuff like that..Hub even made a comment a week or so ago when I was saying something about needing to rake the leaves, he said "I AM still here and can do stuff around the house"..LOL..
Good advice!! BTW Amy you'll be happy to know, my friend I was suppose to meet for coffee..now we are having dinner tonight..so yippee..I get to be out on Friday night LOL
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
Wow! That's about the grandest thing anyone has ever said to me. I'm speechless. Well, never completely..... just glad you are sticking around and I know you can help others. There another woman I wished you could talk to, but right now is probably not the best time......I am kind of concerened she is backing out on us instead of trying to do what we recommend. And if she thought that your R was headed for D, she would take off running. She is so filled with fear until she can't do anything. Just pray for her Amy. I have come out and asked her if she is a Christian and I've said other things to try to get a comment out of her about it, but she won't respond to that part. Anyway, there is always somebody around here to care about and want to help. You will be a great addition to the "helpers" and I say that b/c you are a survivor and that makes you a success story. People, like this lady, think that there is no life after D or if their WAS doesn't return home, but there is. Of course, we want to bust a divorce if possible, but all cases are not that way. Some of the best people around the board are those whose M didn't survive, but they did and they can really be a big help to others. You can too, and I hope you'll consider doing that, which BTW, I have seen you doing that on a few places I came across. Good for you.
Anyway, this lady is saying some of the same things that I heard you say in the beginning of your stitch, but you learned differently, didn't you, hon? You also learned very quickly. You are a completely differently type of personality (I think)from her. I am very concerned about her.....just don't have a good feeling. Anyway, please pray for her.....God will know who she is and we need to pray that she will come to know Him, if she doesn't already.
Thanks, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi - I know you don't post on my thread but definitely appreciate the advice you give Amy because I take it too..
Tawnya - you are still so new (can't believe I'm saying that b/c not too long ago I was the "new" one - how sad) hang in there...
I haven't had much time to post on other threads, even my own.. I will try to do that this weekend if I can... solo and going to Cowboy game Sunday ...
love to all
Me: 38/H:40 M:7yrs TG: 10yrs 2Girls: 4yr & 7 month old Bomb 8/22/08 OW/EA/PA 8/23/08 with 25yr old Moved out 9/22/08
So, we are having the big spend the night party tonight! It's going good. The boys have turned out most of the lights in the house, and they are looking for 'bad guys.' In fact, I think I just heard that they have found blood in the den, and that there's a 'spirit' in the neighbors yard! They are having the most fun!!! In fact, this will be one of those times they talk about long after tonight. I'm so glad I did it!!!]
H came to help get the kids dinner and my friend and her H came. Even that was good. We all shared some laughs. H did cheese pizza and I did pepperoni. I did sprite and he did lemonade. He took pictures while I led "Happy Birthday." It was sooooo normal feeling. Maybe when he left he felt a twinge of regret. I hope so. I know I should want him to be happy...and I do one day...just not yet!!!
He asked about Thursday...so, I guess he's coming to lunch (S6's actual birthday is on Thanksgiving this year). I'm not fixing much, but I'll do something. We'll have to eat quickly cause the boys and I are traveling North (well, North for us anyway) for a few days after that.
Sandi, I'll be praying for her. Wish I could help, but you are right...I'm not the success story most newcomers want to hear about. That's why I thought I should move to a different forum...what do you think?
Love you guys! Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
{{{Amy}}} Sounds like your time was lots of fun..and you survived Glad hub came to help as well and you'd have to be crazy not to leave with some regret during a "family thing", you know?
As far as moving to another area on the forum, geez, I dunno..you ARE still a newcomer in a way..and you do give hope in the way you are handling things..but only you know what is best (besides, I'll find ya wherever you are!!)
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
I'm not the success story most newcomers want to hear about. That's why I thought I should move to a different forum...what do you think?
I wouldn't worry about it for a while. It seems that more traffic comes through Newcomers than about anywhere else until they decide to go to another forum. In a way, Amy, you could be a lot of help to people that feel like there is no way they can make it without their spouse b/c that was where you were when you came on board. But, you have proven that you can survive and you are learning that eventually you will even be happy. You are finding peace and are in a good place now, so I think that does offer something for those who are in such a panic mode when they come here. I believe for some people, it is not a matter of thinking they can't survive without their S, but it is that they don't want to and therefore will not even allow themselves room to consider it. That is understandable. Anyway, there are others around the board that got remarried during the time they have been here or they never got back together with their S, but they are very good at counseling others.....and I think you will be too. So, just stay put for a while b/c this is where your support group is (not that we couldn't hunt you down....lol) but no hurry about moving.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Hey girlie! shut up you are a success! are you living? do you find happiness in a diff way and place every day????? YES! so dont make go on you like you did on tom yesterday lol!!
oh I would love a houseful of little boys, ANY day other than a house of teenage girls! OMG you just dont know lol!
i love you!!!!!!!!!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
So, we had the best birthday party! The boys and I hunted werewolves at the school across the street...they thought that was too cool.
I put them down about 11:30, and they were out in about 10 minutes!!! It must be exhausting to hunt monsters!!!
This morning we got up, ate doughnuts, and went to S6's football game. H was there, but it was okay. He was very nicely dressed...and, since last night he'd told me he was moving things from one office to the other today after the game, I was sort of surprised by that...but, then I remembered that he still lies about 85% of the time he talks to me...so, I shouldn't have been surprised!!!
At any rate, all the parents came to get the kids from the game...so, I had lots of folks to talk to. They talked to H too, and everybody was polite to him! I wasn't sure a few of them would be!!!
I got to tell about werewolf hunting to all the kids' parents. I wonder if H realizes how much he's missing in the boys' lives that he would have been a part of under other circumstances; I wonder if he cares?
He left as soon as the game was over...that's the first time he hasn't walked us to the car. I had three other parents walking to the car with me to get their kids' stuff.
At any rate, he told me he'd get the birthday gift for S6 on Wed. and call me at work so I could meet him at the house. Then, he'd pick the boys up on Wednesday, and we'd have our small birthday lunch on Thursday. I hope he's still planning to get the rest of his stuff out the house and shed next weekend?? I guess I can ask on Wednesday. I've started collecting items and piling them in the back bedroom.
I had asked him in an email response to his email about the settlement to let me know when he had time to discuss it...he's not responded to that. I've marked it up...and I'm ready to discuss...but the ball's still in his court, and I intend to leave it there.
The boys and I are going to friends house for dinner tonight. We've all had a nap this afternoon and are rested so that will be fun!!
And, I'll hang around here a little longer on Sandi's advice!!!
Love you guys! Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
just glad you are sticking around and I know you can help others. There another woman I wished you could talk to, but right now is probably not the best time......I am kind of concerened she is backing out on us instead of trying to do what we recommend. And if she thought that your R was headed for D, she would take off running. She is so filled with fear until she can't do anything. Just pray for her Amy. I have come out and asked her if she is a Christian and I've said other things to try to get a comment out of her about it, but she won't respond to that part. Anyway, there is always somebody around here to care about and want to help. You will be a great addition to the "helpers" and I say that b/c you are a survivor and that makes you a success story. People, like this lady, think that there is no life after D or if their WAS doesn't return home, but there is. Of course, we want to bust a divorce if possible, but all cases are not that way. Some of the best people around the board are those whose M didn't survive, but they did and they can really be a big help to others. You can too, and I hope you'll consider doing that, which BTW, I have seen you doing that on a few places I came across. Good for you.