Trixi aka "The Pitbull who can't let go"

[Trixi]

Spent another evening with the in-laws last night; from 5:30 til nearly 1am.
The interesting thing is that my FIL seemed very interested in me and like he actually liked me. (He is the one that has been the most verbal in the past about not approving of me.) HE was the one that invited me to dinner. HE was the one that called me during the day. And when I said I needed to find some sort of part time job, HE said he would talk to his business owner friend who needs more help.

What was also interesting is that I found out who's big idea the whole "We can get a divorce and always re-marry later". It was FIL's idea. I said something about feeling frustrated about the current situation because of the limbo and he says "Well, I told [my H] that he should do something to get out of limbo--you guys can always re-marry later." To which I said "OR, he could live up to his commitment and work on the marriage."

There were a few other times thruout the night that I tossed in some "OR": "he could live with his wife; he could reconcile; he could man-up" Like I said, maybe someday over lunch I can tell her all the rumors I heard and how deeply they hurt me and how I wished they would have encouraged him to stay.

Both the in-laws asserted that they did not try to influence his decision with regard to me. uh huh. :rolls eyes:

FIL dropped SS off at my old house and called me up to ask if I had seen the house lately. (yes) He said he was appalled at the condition of the house. That it was terrible, awful, etc. I just said, yup, uh huh, yeah. After dinner they both told me that I should put my foot down and tell him to get the house in order since it is still half MY house. (yeah, right. I'll be sure to tell a grown man who is making the mortgage payment to keep better house. sure.)

Found out that last year my H never even called his mom for her birthday. This year, FIL told H "You better wish Mom a happy birthday." So, my H dropped her an email... for her *70th* birthday. No present given before he left, he didn't take her out; nothing except an email. (hmmm....must have been his WIFE that helped him with those things in the past...hmmm...)

I told them that I was very hurt that H left because there was no abuse, no addiction, no affairs. There was no reason to leave. I said that I was very sorry for the thyroid thing, but I fixed it when I was diagnosed. They seemed a little surprised at the extent of the thyroid thing. Asked me lots of questions.

I haven't seen my FIL that animated and glad to see me in ages. My MIL gave me the biggest hug when I left and said she wants us to go out to lunch soon.

Right now, I am feeling vindicated (to a degree), but I have tears in my eyes because it's a hollow victory. My H still hasn't committed to rebuilding the marriage, so it doesn't really matter that the in-laws are having their eyes opened. (And they aren't FULLY opened yet. OMG. If they knew what was really going on in that house.)