Thanks breton39. I don't know if its because of the holidays or what, but this week has been emotional hard on me as I a missing my ex so much. I feel like I am in limbo because I don't know what is going to happen. I wish I knew what the outcome was going to be, but unfortunately only time will tell. I feel like I am running out of emotional stamina and don't know how much more I can take of this. It is like the idea of my ex not being in my life is eating me up inside.
The only thing that is keeping me somewhat sane I think is my job as I am having to work home and that is keeping my mind busy. Still, I feel like a second class citizen right now when I am around my ex - like I mean nothing to her. I am just so frustrated right now and I know that I need just get a grip and think about the progress I've made so far. It is really bothering me that my ex is living with her best friend. Although I know there is nothing there, I feel like her best friend takes pleasure in knowing that I no longer married to my ex. I know he sees me as threat to him having a house (his credit was really bad that he couldn't have gotten a house without my ex's credit).
I read a book recently that was discussing how a person in my situation needs to have a lot of emotional stamina and patience to see reconciliation through - and that sometimes it is better to start new with another person than to try to repair a broken relationship.
The thing is, I don't want to start new. I want to restore and reconcile my marriage. I just don't know if I am cut out for this is this is beginning to take its toll on me. I guess I just need some encouragement to keep fighting. I know I won't give up, but I feel like doing so so badly right now.