It is so nice to get all your opinions... and the reassurance that the new picture doesn't mean anything.
I am feeling SO NERVOUS about my piano exam on monday. Everyone else in my class took it on thursday and they ALL failed, including the one girl who was totally on top of her game. The exam has 8 different parts and she screwed up on one of the parts and they failed her for the whole thing. I am actually contemplating things like "well, I guess I could just not finish my degree" or, "if I fail it twice, I guess I could spend christmas break studying to take it again in january". I hate this crap, I can't wait to be done with all of this.
Which makes me wonder if I should call him BEFORE the piano exam, as opposed to AFTER when I will probably be really upset.
((E)) I guess I am afraid he is sending a message like, "I am leaving behind my last memories of you, i threw out the beautiful flying angel statue you brought me and burned it along with all your love letters, here is a new picture of me in my Big Scary Beard". Honestly the old picture made me feel weird too, because it was taken in his NYC apartment which was were everything started to go to sh!t in our relationship.
((K)) thank you... for reassuring me.
((L)) you are right, maybe I need to give him "more openings" like ali said on your thread?
((A)) it displays to everyone, not just me. I really have NFC what is going on with the beard. Ever since I've known him he's always experimented a lot with his hair, but this is really extreme, like MAN OF THE MOUNTAIN beard. When I saw him in august he had trimmed it more like... a pirate or something... not so bushy, so I was hoping it would eventually just evolve away. But now it seems to be back with a vengeance! It seems like intense beards are normally declarations of bachelordom. But also apparently Ugly Beards are a big trend in NYC right now? I don't think it has anything to do with his religion. Unless he decided to become AMISH!! (I don't think they have that in the UK, but they are a religious group that wear simple clothing and support themselves by farming and wear really, really big beards.) I don't even know what's going on with him religiously in the past year, whether he is going to church or anything. It used to be really really important to him and also a big issue in the first few years of our relationship, but I don't even know if he's found a group of people to share that with in NYC. I don't know if that means he is adrift, or just changed so it is no longer a priority for him.
You know, I haven't met anyone this past year who floats my boat at all... everyone around me is like 19 years old or a gay opera singer. Even when B and I were together during the whole five year period there were only 2 other guys I felt at all attracted to and in the end I was SO GLAD I didn't go for either of them. I am really, really, really picky...
