((((naej, Sunshine, Ali))))

Interesting.....I guess I'd say in relation to asking H anything that it won't make me feel better to hear anything he has to say. The only thing I'd believe would be actions on his part- anything he might say about being confused/not being happy etc. would just be words and I've heard them before. He has to step up and man-up, and he's running out of time. I think I posted before that the New Year is when things will be clearer and easier for me. I'll have clarity on a few fronts then which will make things easier for me and H, and maybe for CEO too depending how the fundraise goes.

naej- for now, things aren't going to go further with CEO than a drink after work and suggestive banter. How long will he be available? Hard to answer. 39 years and he stil is, but he won't keep pursuing me forever, I know. January isn't long. He may not be my boss by then anyway.

Ali- I'm glad you found the office banter amusing. CEO is like that in what he says. Funny! For my H, I think he knows what I think more than it comes across on the boards. I periodically mention things that give him openings to speak to me and he doesn't take them. I'm not scared to ask him what he thinks/feels, but I know from experience that I won't get an answer. After a year, in any case, he doesn't owe me one and I don't need one for peace of mind. He doesn't know why he went off with the aubergine- we've talked about it before.... I guess I should say that these things don't bother me on a day-to-day basis and now I wish I'd not mentioned it in my post now ;\) . It was only a teeny thought which passed soon enough. I've accepted what happened....

Sunshine- I know you understand. Vice versa.

So, I know I have to decide. Except that there isn't a real choice to be made at the moment. I'm still married to H, and CEO flirts and banters but hasn't 'said' anything. Eventually I'll have to decide to get a D. Now isn't the time, but things are starting to change. We'll see in the New Year.