When the S is in MLC the whole thing is about them. Your last post had a couple of revealing statements.
Every time that I said how much I was hurting, my H responded that he was the one in the most pain. I was always confused by that, because we was the once CAUSING us both pain with his actions. So stop doing the painful things! He never saw it that way.
It was always all about him. Only recently has he been able to look at things beyond himself.
Oh, and it might be a good thing if you don't drink around him for a while. It took a couple of same type events for me to figure out that I didn't have the detachment when I had something to drink that I needed to survive around him.
Most of us are about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
