Got up this morning and made coffee and breakfast for me and for H. I was singing while cooking, and this seemed to amuse him. He called me down to look at some video on his computer too, which was cute.
Tiny baby steps every day. Each one is a small joy in its own way...this one will sound weird, but here goes. When H got out of the shower, he said "I'm gonna get me some." This was the joking around thing he used to say for ML. This is the first time he has made any reference to sex outside of either being drunk or waking up in the middle of the night.It makes me feel more like we are a real couple again.
So after finishing breakfast I got my purse and coat and informed H I had plans with a friend in town so had to run. He kept stalling me thinking of things he wanted me to pick up. Then he asked ,"why are you meeting your friend?" I let him know it was for lunch and that I love going to lunch. He lingered by the door as I was leaving too :).
So now I'm on the train. I still have cramps and would love to be at home on the couch watching DVDs, but I do think it seems to work when I make plans for myself outside of the house. He always seems a bit surprised, probably because we used to fight a lot about activities, and I always was dragging him to do things he apparently didn't want to do. So now we really don't do anything together but watch DVDs, but I have told him in the past that I want to take his lead on joint activities now, so I hope that at some point soon he'll suggest something. I also sent him an email with the breakdown of costs for Xmas vacations (he'd asked for this). I've gotten no response, but I had told him that it was entirely up to him, and I researched only places he's been wanting to go...
So still in unspoken limbo, but I guess this is pretty typical in these kind of sitches. I think H is sort of watching everything closely, probably still unsure about whether the R can work. Seriously 2 weeks together now, with not 1 fight, no bickering, nothing. When H gets negative about something, I just validate. This is like night and day from our old R.
OK that's it for now. Hopefully today will be another calm and pleasant day...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
