wtf happened to the happy

[AliSuddenly]

Hey BobbiJo,

I just want to say I too am following and I am sorry tht you are going through this.

Also.. Kerry, generally, you are right "Us guys can be a bit primal and have no problem having sex without love."... but my ex had depressoin and NO ow until this August, but he wouldnt stay the night with me or do anything all year.. becuase, I think he didnt want to lead me on, or give me false hope whilst he was still deciding what to do. Since seeing ow, he couldnt even see me at all!

Having said that, I dont think Dan is that type of guy and it is pretty clear the ow is back? Also, about the chiropracter, its incidental...they are in touch no doubt so this is a red herring.

I'm intrigued by the convo you had the other day. He said he wanted just ONE person to listen to him...and you said, I guess ow does then.. but I didnt read it that way, I read it that NOONE listens to him.. do you think you werent really listening to him there? I read it that OW frustrates him too. Its not your fault though, this is ALL about him isnt it.

Can you lovingly let him go? Say its ok, you get your own place and figure out what you want/need, me and the kids will always be here for you? Or.. have you been through too much?

Also.. why do you keep saying "I do all the bills of course"? It strikes me that your M has got into habits and patterns, like you being the do-er and fixer. Why not hand back responsibility to him? DONT open mail with his name on? Dont pay things that are his to pay? Dont try and fix him?

Is there a way you can set up a spare room for him at home? Or get a pull out camp bed or something? Give him a clear messaeg, its ok, I dont exepct you to sleep with me, in fact, whilst you are going through this cr*p and seeing ow, I dont want you to sleep with me... do a 180 on him again?

I dont know Bobbi, but seems, the harder you try and cling on, the further he slides.