To start, she said she doesn't know what she wants to do. I said I wasn't willing to go on like we are, she said she was. Then she played the guilt card, do I want any of the other kids to think that they have to go into the military in order to pay for college. With the economy like is is, they won't be able to get loans. Etc., etc.
She said she wants to sell the house. Nothing new there, she has said that for a while. But she knows it can't be done right now. She says that she's at a disadvantage because I have the higher paying, better benefit job. That's true, but I can't fix that. I said that I thought I could borrow enough on the house to buy her out. I'd be stretched, but I could hold the house long enough for the market to recover, I hope. We even talked about the possibility of being D'd and both continuing to live in the house until it could be sold. Though we'd have to visit new SO's at their place.
She stayed pretty calm, and didn't go into her lecturing, controlling mode much. Though it did seem that she was telling me that I was a bad father if we did anything to mess up the financial plans for the kids. I think that she finally realizes this is serious. And that I am finally standing up for myself.
It still seems that the division of labor around here is a big deal with her. And that brings along a big set of issues for her. That's her problem, but she's made it mine. I've always agreed with her, maybe too easily, or maybe I've let her beat me down when I didn't, just to stop the fight. I need to look at that issue really carefully. I am sure it isn't so bad as to justify things being as they are. That doesn't mean it couldn't be better.
She really and truly doesn't seem to think that there could be a good reason for her to talk to my C. She said that I should have revisited that subject after her rejection, I told her that the way she did it felt like a complete turn off on the subject, so I wasn't about to do that. She even said that she knew it was going to come back to bite her. She did say that she thought MC would have to be part of the picture, after the first of the year. I agreed. I think she needs IC, too, but I don't think it is time to bring that into it.
I'm sure there was more, but that is a start!
((((((((Michelle)))))))) I hope you are feeling better!
