OK, your mom is home, so S has someone if he has a problem. Stay locked in tonight. Sometimes we just have to let the steam off a little. Hon, you've been through a LOT over the last few days! Be easy on yourself!!!
I am not disappointed in you. No one here is disappointed in you. You are asking so much of yourself in a very short period of time. And just like other times before, this low point is NOT permanent.
Cry if you need to. Scream into your pillow. Pound the bed with your fists. There isn't anything that you could do tonight that would solve anything, anyway. Then, get some sleep. Even if you need to take something to help with that (there are over the counter, and I don't know if you have anything else - did you ever have xanax on hand for the panic attacks?)
I know that there are many times that the only thing that resets my head is sleep. Lots of it. What time do you have to work tomorrow?
