So I got another kick in the gut, shouldn't let it bother me but it alternately sickens me and pisses me off...
Went out to get the mail, as you know I do all the bills...
There was something from the Chiropractor I went to in Kansas City. Actually he had his office in the town closest to us, a suburb 20 miles north of Kansas City.
I was thinking, great, another bill....it was addressed to Dan, but after I started going there, I 'referred' Dan there, then he 'referred' our friend Doyle. Anyway since I pay the bills I opened it anyway. Any bill I give Dan goes unpaid...
So I open it and it is a thank-you card? Inside it says, Thank you for referring _______________ to our office.
And the ___________________ is filled in "Stephanie Cox", aka the OW.........
Then there is a hand-written note from the doctor, that says "Thanks for referring Stephanie to us, I appreciate your trust Dan".........
It was mailed to our KC area address on Nov 14 but just got here...
I guess on the bright side it means she still lives there, I was wondering if she hadn't relocated to our new area. However our town is 20 miles from where she lives so I find it interesting she would want to make the drive for a chiropractor
I wonder if it means he is talking to her again, or I suppose he could have told her about that chiropractor months ago, she may have even ridden along for a visit if he went on lunch back when he worked with her
I just wonder if he actually referred her recently, or if she just went there b/c H had gone there and she told them he mentioned it......
Why the hell do I care?????
Just seeing her whole name in writing, mailed to my house, makes me ill.
BBJ, Sorry you are feeling down tonight. I wish I could pick you up somehow. Perhaps it's time for a dose of reality....sometimes I like some of my friends to smack me around a little. There is not much of it that goes on on these boards...it is very politically correct around here (maybe with a few exceptions). Here goes...I hope you do not take this the wrong way. As a man, there is no way in hell that I would have refused your advances the other night nor would I have been sleeping in another bed unless my mind and heart were elsewhere...actually I think that even if my heart was not there, I would probably follow through. I always had my suspicions...especially when he slept on the couch....but after the package episode, I would give 50 / 1 odds that other woman is back.. So I ask again is this a deal breaker...if you still say no, then you have to continue living the way you are (ie. sleep alone, no sex... etc). When you get fed up like I did, you walk and try not to look back. This is not your fault. I commend you for your perseverance and your love for Dan. My opinion he is not worthy of a woman like you. It pains me to say these things because I went through the same things you are. In retrospect I should have cut my losses at least six months ago. Nobody can say that we never tried.
Well, they are stupid..... to get your mind off your punch I'll throw in one from my DAM's time.
I answer the phone: M: Hello Library on base: Hello is LTC H there? M:No, (I don't say he doesn't live here, as I don't know what he has told them). Can I give message? LB:Can you tell him the Spanish speaking tapes he checked out a month ago are over due? M: Well, of course. (This confirmed she was till in the picture, I wasn't sure at the time, she's from Spain) so sweet he wanted to speak her language....uuggh I hate it...my son is taking Spanish in HS and it revolts me to hear it. No offense to anyone out there but you know what I mean...
So, I called him and told him the news. When I saw him later at my daughters ball practice he hugged me and said he was sorry I kept getting the shitty end of the stick. I was sweet as pie. DAM who would put their home phone number down as a contact number when your renting tapes to learn your lovers language....
In the end though it turned out okay. They really believe there is a Santa Claus!
M:47 M:18 D16, S19 1st S 1/08-5/08 Reconciled/May 7, 2008 Left again Nov 9, 2009 I Filed: Nov 17, 2009 Final: April 14, 2010 EX walked away from kids too
I agree with John fully, but only you can decide when enough is enough.
Case in point - I just met with STBXW at my house. She was looking at me too long like she wanted to do something with me. Since I have my heart for another now, if she were to have made a sexual advance at me I would have pushed her away much the same as Dan did with you.
Now had I not had another gal in the wings, I would be more than willing to happily engage in pressing bellies together with STBXW regardless of what she had done over the past. Us guys can be a bit primal and have no problem having sex without love.
BobbiJo - it pains me to read of your plight over the last year and I hope you can get somewhat out of limbo land soon.
Hi Bobbijo - I've followed your threads for a while...and am often in awe of your spirit and your strength.
It wasn't until my W finally moved out that I realized just how much her way of being has been harming me...I use the word harm on purpose - since it's not the same has hurting...hurting doesn't go as deep and can be overcome without permanent suffering - the harm, though, that's where my W was taking us until she moved out.
From what I've read - you've got all the strength you need to grow beyond the pain and confusion you're living through now.
Bbj, I am so sorry you are going through this, again. I think that Dan is so... broken there is no way you can get to a solution and solid ground unless you ..."break some eggs". All the other kind of approaches dint work with him. And yes I think OW is in again. Get yourself together and make some decisions for you and your life Love K
