I hear you Kerry. It is a very long time to wait w/ no guarantee of a change on the other end.
I'm not sure I could be there for my XW in three to five years and I'm not even sure I could be there for her right now. There is a lot of damage that has to be undone on her part which would take a ton of crow eating that I just can't seem to imagine being on her "menu."
I think the same goes for your STBX. There is just so much she'd have to do to clean up the mess she's made and I'm not sure she sounds like a strong enough person to make that change.
However, in a sadistic way, I'm curious as to what she wants to "talk" about to you and why it is so urgent that it must be done face-to-face.
Agree with all. Although many want the 'old W' back, the truth is that the visions of what happened are hard to erase, even for the strongest of heart. I have not seen anybody having a 'peeling of grapes type of time' in piecing.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
However, in a sadistic way, I'm curious as to what she wants to "talk" about to you and why it is so urgent that it must be done face-to-face.
I second that..I'm curious too..
If I had to hazard a guess it would be something along the lines of a manipulative cake eating trip. Yet to see a WAW come back after an epiphany with apron on and ready to peel grapes.
STBXW just picked me up in her Cadillac for her all important talk she wanted and we drove to my house. We talked a little about upcoming schedules on the way.
Upon sitting down in my living room, she first expressed her concern about the kids and GF40. I reassured her there is nothing to worry about. She said something about how when the kids are with her that she decides everything the kids do. We talked a bit about S8 and social issues he was having at school.
I asked when she was going to sign the divorce judgment as we have a dismissal on Dec 1. She says that next week she does not know when to find time for it as both her and her lawyer have conflicting schedules.
Then she wanted to know more about the relationship between GF40 and myself. I told her that is none of her business.
I then asked her if she had anything else and she said she had a lot on her mind to say but that my responses were not pleasing her.
Then she said she just wanted to look at me. Creepy! Time to take me back to work. Me: When are you going to get the rest of your stuff from my house? Her: Soon.
On the drive back, I just told her that I was so disappointed that she did this to the kid's lives and mine, but that I don't want to dig up the past.
She started stuttering about wishing she had had more time and that I had told her a year ago that I would wait until divorced before dating. I responded by saying that I started dating because I gave up wanting her back some time ago and that I am very happy now. She said she sees that.
When she dropped me off, I told her that she is too prideful and that she needs to be able to communicate better.
I called my lawyer to tell him my concern of them not signing before the dismissal date. He is going to light a fire under her lawyer, but for me to not worry as they can let the court know of a slight delay.
She seems like such a messed up person now. No time during the last year has she ever given me any reason for wanting her back. I am so very confident that I have made the right decision to have filed for a divorce over 10 months ago.
Las Vegas needs to have a disclaimer on those marriage licenses they sell that says - it may take you about an hour to get married, but if you change your mind, it is going to take you a year to get this undone.
i am sure that if you were a little less in your face, she would have asked for another shot. good for you for sticking to your guns. I am sure it was not very easy....or hopefully it was.
<< Upon sitting down in my living room, ... Why not a coffee shop or a park instead? Don't you feel creepy having her in the house?
<< ... we have a dismissal on Dec 1. Curious to know what this means?
<< Then she said she just wanted to look at me. Creepy! Was she verifying that G40 afterglow?
<< but if you change your mind, it is going to take you a year to get this undone. And cost $$$$ and could wreck a few innocent lives.
<< She started stuttering about wishing she had had more time For what? OM has a foot in the grave ... she can inherit some of his assets and then maybe come back for more in 3-5 years?
<< Me: When are you going to get the rest of your stuff from my house? Her: Soon. Put it out on the lawn and ask her to swing by to pick it up.
<< The thing my W said to me once was that if she did come back to "peeling grapes", she could not guarantee that she would not walk away in the future. Even if she gave you a written guarantee what would it be worth?
<< Upon sitting down in my living room, ... Why not a coffee shop or a park instead? Don't you feel creepy having her in the house? I wanted to get her the mail and I dont feel that creepy until she started staring at me.
<< ... we have a dismissal on Dec 1. Curious to know what this means? The court just wants things to be finalized after being recorded in front of a judge. My L will make sure it does not dismiss and cause me more filing fees.
<< Then she said she just wanted to look at me. Creepy! Was she verifying that G40 afterglow? I think she was trying to look at and remember me
<< She started stuttering about wishing she had had more time For what? OM has a foot in the grave ... she can inherit some of his assets and then maybe come back for more in 3-5 years? She told me long ago that he is a young 68.
<< The thing my W said to me once was that if she did come back to "peeling grapes", she could not guarantee that she would not walk away in the future. Even if she gave you a written guarantee what would it be worth? By her making such a statement, it got chisled in my brain. The other big one was saying that she does not think marriage vows have much meaning. I know - dont believe what they say, but there had to be some truth to exposed her true character.
