We didn't talk about it so much this session, other than a few mentions of the emotionality and tension surrounding the STD tests we did, but we did talk about it in last weeks session and H has owned up to it and said he is very sorry. {and not just one of those "I'm sorry I hurt you" apologies, but a real "I'm very sorry I did it!It was a big mistake."
He is still very skeptical about the possibility of rebuilding our M, or whether he really wants to, but has agreed to be completely honest, spend time together and see where it goes. I too honestly don't know if I can ever get past it. It creeps into my thoughts all the time. Before this "one time", and H still says this is true and I have no evidence to disbelieve him, we had only been with each other, and I cherished that knowledge so much! I am one of those silly romantic types that reads the romance novels and all. I am very traumatized by this, to the point that I can't even read a "love scene" in a book without thinking of H and OW. But it is still a fairly recent discovery (2 weeks), so I am hoping that these feelings will subside and then maybe I can move on. For now, there's not much H can say that he hasn't said, so we just have to let time pass and see.
In actuality, H has been pretty calm, supportive and tolerant of my emotional swings, and I did let him know I appreciated his effort last night. I wasn't "gushy" or anything like that, I just acknowledged that I knew it was hard for him to remain calm and not get defensive and/or walk away, and I recognized the effort he made at doing that.
TJ
Me45,H49 D24,S18 M26,T28 Bomb 3/19/08 Sep 6/23/08 EA/PA with Secretary 2007-8 3/2009 H moved in w/OW2 7/2009 Let him go w/Love. 8/2009 Legally Sep'd
