DDAY, that is one thing I have found, my closest friends do not talk about the subject for one very big reason, I have to deal with it and the less outside interference, the better. They are consistent. I occassionally will talk to them about it, especially a couple who went throguh it and got back together, but it is usually to bounce something back. This board has been the biggest source for that lately.
It is not the the W lies, she just taks ragtime. she throws things out there that are for her own mindset, her own justification. she does text me from time to time and has called to talk only once about anything. I do not discuss my daughters situation in school or anything else. basically, she walked, she is part of the problem my D is going through. I am not bringing her back into the picture. I have dealt with it very well and have ended practically all the behavior issues.
As for the bills, same here. she did it , stressed over it and wouldn't hand it over. she couldn't deal with it for one main reason, her 3 credit cards I didn't know about, she is now in credit debt in excess of $5k.
When she shes the house, rarely now that her pics are gone and her clothes are stored away, it is virtually spotless, no dishes in the sink, no laundry piles and the no trash falling out of the barels. Not that this was this way, but I keep it tighter than ever now. My bills are mostly paid on time. when I first asked her for the car insurance money she owed, she asked, is it a final notice? I said no, its due. she told me to wait until i get a final notice it will give me time. I said time for what? Its due now. I want it paid. I no longer have a checking account because we used to play the pay it and hope it takes a while to clear while others go through. Not anymore. The only piles of bills in my house are my kids and hers. I have a little holder on my desk for bills to be paid. they are dated and the dollar amoutn written on them. Very organized.
You know what I hate most of all, is that I am now everything. I make sure the house is clean, the homework is done, the animals are fed, there's food in the house, my D has lunch money for the week, the laundry is done, the bills are paid, the house repairs and yard work are being dealt with and dinner is made. On top of going to work everyday. After all of this, I get to go to my line dancing class for a couple of hours a week and hang with friends every other weekend or so. She is working part time. goes to her room at her friends house, no housecleaning, no doing dishes, no wrrying about house bills (financially she is screwed)texts and talks to OM all afternoon all night wiothout a care in the world (at least in my mind). We used to split all the things I now do alone. I am constantly running my budget through my head, more now since I kicked the deadbeat BIL out the door. I know for a fact she doesn't have much of a life, my spies have told me and I believe them as if I saw it with my own eyes.
And you know what, other than the fact that she doesn't have my resposibilites, I wouldn't chang eplaces with her. I like having these responsiblities because when I get things done, I know I had to climb mountains to do it. I like the independent satisfaction it gives me. Although it does make for a tired guy end of the day. I have slowed a little at Sandi request. I was literally trying to fill evry momnet of everyday. Bad idea. I relax now, but after I am sure the basics are done.
My life is lonely right now, but it is stress free for the most part. I did that, I took the stress away. I am very happy with that. she can't say that. I want to thank you again for sounding here. I like the company no dubt. I pray we all come out on top.
