Things are settling down...not sure that's good!

[Amy M]

Hello, ladies!!! Yes, you too can get to a happier place. Don't get me wrong...I'm very sad about the D...and will be for a long time. And, if H were to come home tomorrow and commit to working on the M, I'd welcome him with semi-open arms!!

But, I've also discovered that life can go on without him...and, in a lot of ways...it might even be more fun. I have a friend who's been a single mom for a long time. When H first moved, I said to her, "How in the world am I going to manage on my own with the boys?" She laughed and said, "You'll do fine. You'll do the things that are most important and the others will slide. Sometimes homework won't get done; sometimes the house will be a complete disaster, and sometimes the kids might wear dirty jeans to school; but they will always know you love them and want what's best for them." But the one thing she told me that really struck a chord and has stayed with me was this..."And, once you figure out a routine, you'll be better than fine. If you know you have to do it all yourself, you can do it all yourself. It's the expecting H to help you and then being let down that's really the hardest."

So, that's what I've done. I've figured out how to just do it all myself when I have the boys. My best advice (especially for you, TxMom) is to get a set schedule for visitation with H ASAP. If you know when you'll be free to do things on your own, you can plan a class or a running schedule, etc.

The key to being okay with this nightmare we are in is discovering that you are super cool women that no man in his right mind would walk away from. Once you do that...you'll have a different perspective...if H is willing to walk away from this super cool woman, then he's not in his right mind, and maybe I don't need that!

I love you guys! And, whatever happens, you'll be okay!

When I have a few minutes (and I'm not sure when that will be), I'll see if I can find some of my old posts...from the very beginning...so, you can see where I came from. That might help you more than anything know that you can get here from there!

Hugs to you!
Amy