I screwed up again

[techguy]

1. I will not get angry when I talk to her.
2. I will make time to spend with my kids.
3. I will stay calm when she criticizes me.
4. I will show interest in anything related to the kids.
5. I will act happily when she is around.
6. I will continue working out and staying in shape.

Hi AN,

I think those are all great things to do. But I'm not sure they fully qualify as DBing goals. Like the book says: "What will be the very first thing...". They should be measurable.

So perhaps one goal could be something like:

"Wife will get up and leave the computer (just once) when the kids need something."

So I think you need both lists. One list is things <you> are going to do. And the second list is little, tiny changes you will see in your wife which will help you monitor her reactions (if any) to your changes.

FYI... I think Beth has been giving you excellent advice. Keep it up Beth! You are quickly becoming a Jedi-master of DB'ing!