For the Guy with Kids and a WW Neunzehn(19)

[Sugar and Spice]

Oh really I am fine letting someone else have it! "R" is hard enough to achieve!!
kat

WHATEVER!!!!!

H4H we both need to let them feel more of the consequences of their choices. You and I both are fixers. Even pleasers if you will. I know if H and I do D, things will change dramatically. We won't have all of our little chats and stuff. I won't be doing and helping him the way that I do now. I guess I've just been so afraid of backing off and him choosing that anyway, I've continued to do things that are to my detriment. You and I have always agreed that we are a lot alike in many ways and I think this is one of them. I think if we were to truly drop the rope (like we have been told countless times) and let them LIVE their choice, we would both see a change in our situations. It may not be immediate, but I do think it would change. I know I have never truly given my H a chance to miss me. To realize what he is giving up because I have been "right there" through this whole mess. You have too...for better or worse, right? Maybe this is something to think about.

Hope your Darling Girl gets better soon. Hope the whole bathtub thing works out...but then you would have two K's and our Karen is not an alphabet girl!

[InLikeFlynn]

I remember when both of you would race to the apartment....you to avoid her and her to get there before you left so she had more time with the girls and fix dinner etc. It would do her good to have to pick up the girls and spend less time with them. She would be the one hanging around your house trying to spend more time with them and maybe staying for dinner etc.

I suggest rotating the picking up and dropping off. You will have to come up with a reason so she doesn't think you are being snotty. I would say gas to and from.

[hopeful4her]

Well....

Took my little one to the doc and she has STREP!!!

And I'm already feeling it myself. I'm at the library wasting time before her prescription is ready.

Before we left the house, the wife replied to the email,

"Sorry, did not get to check my emails yesterday afternoon, we were very busy, did you make it or buy it, lol


How is Juli doing? Tell her I love her soooooooooooooo much and hope she feels better."

I sent back to her,

"I figured you were just busy last night. Miguel had told them that you were going to call them last night.

I had the lasagna made special for us. New restaurant called 'Il Cafe Stoufer's'. Maybe you've heard of it. They pack it in a nice microwave box and everything. They even conveniently sent it to HEB for me to pick up."

I'm taking her to an appointment with Dr at 11. She seems better, though. Fever is down and not much of a headache anymore. Her throat still hurts."

While I was in the waiting room, she replied back,

"I did call last night, they were outside with the puppies and I called again after Miguel called me and I figured out my phone was left in my car. Never heard of it but glad to know you all enjoyed it."

After the doc visit, I called her to let her know what happened.

I said, "Your daughter has Strep throat."
"Oh no. How did she catch it?"
"I dunno, but I can also feel it already."
"You better call the doctor, too. And you need to wash all the dishes in bleach. In hot water, soap and bleach."
"I'm going to call. And do you know that when I picked her up from daycare, two kids have lice! I had to check her hair last night."
"Great. Well, don't leave when you pick them up tonight. I'll check their hair."

??????

"I did check her hair last night. I went through with a comb. She's ok. Were going to drop off her prescription and I'm going to call the my doctor."
"You might just want to go to the clinic."
"We'll see."
"I have to take a member. Let me call you when I'm done with this member. They're looking at me."
"Okay, bye."

Just what I needed. To have strep. I called my boss from the doc office and told her that I already feel it too. I might get someone to work for me tomorrow.

I emailed her from here,

"We're at the library wasting time before her prescription is ready. I'll have to get Amanda right when she gets to the apartment, because we think she left her key inside.

The lasagna was just a frozen stouffers lasagna, silly.

Yeah, it was so good, I finished Juli's leftovers and got myself sick, too."


Suga, funny how we keep telling each other that. Same here. If we D, things change big time. Before her dad passed, I was doing a pretty good job of staying away from her. His passing changed things, and I did what felt like the right thing to do. But it made me hopeful and scared at the same time and felt the need to protect my self.

Attack, Attack, Pull Back, Attack again.

ILF, I'll get it figured out. I'll put something into place and I'll probably blame gas prices on it.

Time to get the meds.

[whatdidido]

I had a long post to you....but, I decided not to send it. I will just say this...

Fighting for your w rather than trying to forget about her with b or cdefg is good.

Pulling back can be good if you show her what she misses, but giving her "just enough" isn't really pulling back.

It's never wrong to love your wife.

MOving on is not an option because you are still married.

Focusing on the kids and your life with them is always right.

I'm sorry if you didn't want to get emotional and I changed that by sending the songs.

(((h4h)))))

[hopeful4her]

Pulling back can be good if you show her what she misses, but giving her "just enough" isn't really pulling back.

Expand on this for me. I assume your saying to pull way, way back. Dark.

I agree with what you say, but some day, I may HAVE to move on.

I think if I went to see the movie, I'd be a blubbering fool. I don't like getting emotional, but the songs were still very much appreciated.

Maybe its good to get emotional sometimes. I'm usually the serious one, the one that hides his emotions. I'm not upset at myself for sending the email, with the song in it.

Like I told her, I can't leave things left unsaid. At least until, if and when, she D's me.

[Sugar and Spice]

Before her dad passed, I was doing a pretty good job of staying away from her. His passing changed things, and I did what felt like the right thing to do. But it made me hopeful and scared at the same time and felt the need to protect my self.

You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing with her Dad's passing. All I meant was, its just so easy for us to get sucked back in. We provide emotional support, which leads to feelings of emotional closeness, but we tend to not be able to pull back and give them the chance to miss us.

I sure hope your baby gets better soon and take care of yourself.

[hopeful4her]

We provide emotional support, which leads to feelings of emotional closeness, but we tend to not be able to pull back and give them the chance to miss us.

I agree.

Thanks.

[Sugar and Spice]

We provide emotional support, which leads to feelings of emotional closeness, but we tend to not be able to pull back and give them the chance to miss us.

I agree.

Thanks.

Me too, now we actually need to "do it"

[karen43]

I had the lasagna made special for us. New restaurant called 'Il Cafe Stoufer's'. Maybe you've heard of it. They pack it in a nice microwave box and everything. They even conveniently sent it to HEB for me to pick up."

You are so funny--you crack me up!!!

I am so sorry about you and your D having strep. I used to get it a lot as a kid and I know how awful that can be.

You know we all tend to agonize if we did the right thing or not, but I think 99.9% of the time we should be proud of how we've conducted ourselves. Look at the kind of stuff our spouses are doing and what we are doing, still faithful, loving, etc.

Karen

[InLikeFlynn]

Send your daughter over to the wife so she will get it. That will keep bad guys away!!!