I hear ya. She only got pissy with me once, which i had posted, almost like she tried to get me to fight with her, wouldn't do it. I am very calm. As a matter of fact, everytime something happens that should and would have sen me into a rage, screaming and yelling, has the opposite affect. I look at it and try to figure out how to make it go away forever.
When she talks about how bad her finances are, my kids have all told her, Dad seesm to make ends meet, he isn't rich, but he deals with it. I often worry about her in the us sense. The OM is a POS and I know him, supposedly he was a friend. Anyway, I have been in this separation for 4 months and indications are she has been with him for 5. Wish I knew this for sure when I was drinking, he'd be gone.
She is going thru something of that I am sure. She is miserable, that I know for sure. When she is with my kids they all say the same thing, she is not her, she is someone else and somewhere else. Its sad becasue I know the feeling. I was going thru my midlife I believe when my dad dies 4.5 years ago. I think I came out of mine when she dropped the bomb.
I had to pay bills today, depressing, but I like doing it, I see it "done". and lately I am all about getting things done in my life. I don't like loose ends. I struggle with missing her every morning and every night as I am sure you do with yours. the scary part of it is if and when she comes out of it I have heard a wide range of what to expect. none of it will be pleasnt, but there isn't anything I can't handle at this point in time. this board has been great, it gives me strength when i start to fall, as you saw, and it gives me insight to things I need to be aware of.
I don't ever wonde where she is lately or what she is doing. People, however, find it encumbent to tell me. Makes the mind woander unfortunately. when I hear she is with him, I am totally enraged. Lately I have taken the stand of, "I don't want to hear it and I don't want to know"
