quick synopsis: M over 8 years W has had multiple A's over the last 3 yrs. W was in rehab in 2006. W had at least 3 OM's in Sept. 08 alone. W dropped bomb on 9/15 We've been separated since, she's lived on/off in the house since that date. right now she stays elsewhere at night; but keeps her stuff in the house.
I'm not sure about taking her back if she decided to come back; so maybe I'm experiencing the desire to walkaway from this. She really hasn't expressed any desire to work it out. We remain civil, really friendly; but the D looms overhead like the Goodyear blimp.
For me I've really dove into finding myself and recovering my identity. I am no longer angry with her and her dramatical antics. I choose not to be because she doesn't care.
so I'm waiting for actions...and I have NO Expectations.
The W has not attended her usual Wed. night bar for two weeks straight now. She also has been arriving at the house this week in the morning to help get the D off to preschool. She only missed one morning this week. She hasn't appeared drunk or hungover at all when she shows up.
This makes me wonder.... I know that wondering is not allowed; but still makes think that she's up to something. But I'll take the help. I told her that it doesn't change what I'm doing; but if she's not in the house by 6am; I'm still getting both kids up.
So I've noticed a definite change over the last two weeks. She's still not sleeping at the house; but she's spending more time with the kids. Not a lot; but a definite increase.
She's keeping the D with her all day today, taking her clothes shopping. She also offered to keep them tonight so I could go out. I'm almost nervous about that; but I'll take advantage of it.
What I'm discovering is that the more time that she spends at the house and we converse; I get into my head a little bit and try to get on the rollercoaster. But when I feel that, I go back and revisit in my mind all the horrible crap that she's pulled over the years. This reminds why I need to remain vigilant for the charm offensive that she could mount. I'm still too vulnerable; lovingly detached, but vulnerable.
Hope you have fun tonight. I'm off for a lunch date with my H. He's going deer hunting all weekend again. I'm going to go WILD and leave dishes in the sink...LOL.
Wait! Do I get a cold one? I'm easy, Bud Light'll do fine.
In hindsight I might not should have posted that to LE!!! Folks might figure me out...I just thought of it when I was reading his thread, and it made me laugh!!! And, I'd bet, you've met enough of us to agree with the analysis, right?
And, the few words thing...well, not exactly...totally dependent on the subject matter!
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
