I screwed up again

[AnotherNightmare]

Beth,

I know it is a roller coaster ride, it has been already. Sometimes I have the feeling she might give in, this morning OTH she repeatedly said it is over.
Because she complained to the OM that I was cold last night, I apologized this morning that I was in a bad mood last night. As the conversation went on and she repeated a lot of things and I just acknowledged with "I am sorry you feel that way", I tried to conclude it with "So you are saying we are back where we were 11 years ago.". She all of sudden said "No, not quite. I am not going to have an affair so you can make me feel guilty again. It is just an e-mail friendship." Now I feel down again, because it is out there now, but I am not sure I wanted it out there.

I wish somebody could tell how long this is going to go, but I know it is impossible to predict. I know it might never get better, but I also know I must try to save my marriage for myself and my kids.

To answer your question, I am from Germany.