When exactly to I get to be just plain pissed? Is there a "step" for that???
Because that is what I am.
I was sorting through about 100 insurance claim forms last night. I am the bill payer, always have been since we got married. Now that i work full time things have been slipping.
I try to be Organized Supermom, I have separate binders for each member of the family for medical bills and those claim forms the insurance company gives you to tell you what you actually owe off the ridiculously complicated hospital bills you get...
My kids average a dr. appointment every two weeks practically, esp. S6. And H has had some major medical issues the past 3 years in a row 1)Appendix surgery that landed him in hospital 5 days 2)Thyroid cyst big as a golf ball that required surgery and slitting practically his entire throat 3)The heart-attack scare where he had to go back for stress tests, ekgs, etc
Then there's me, with my MRSA super-bug staff infections 3 times in past year, then that little problem with milk production that got me sent to cancer doctors and then brain tumor doctors and then endocrinologists....
OK long rant, I know. I am just saying we literally get hundreds of medical bills a year, we should be counting it on our taxes!
SOOOOOO
I am up at midnight while my "poor H" who "can't ever sleep" has been asleep on the couch since 9:30....I am getting pissed at him b/c he is the one who has said he wants out of this marriage, but he is sleeping in the next room while I sit up till all hours at the dining room table making sure all our bills our taken care of...
Not to mention he announced as he was falling asleep, "I still need to go to the farm to get some stuff out of my other truck, if I wait till morning I am sure I will oversleep and be late to work AGAIN"........negative attitude, anyone? But of course he was sleeping away, so he can be frustrated again in the morning...
So as I am fuming I find two things mixed in with the bills:
1)My grandmother's funeral program 2)A valentine's card from H
I think when we moved from the old house these were laying in a drawer and I just threw them in with the files so they didn't get lost....(see it has been awhile since I filed medical bills!I pay them, just don't file the 'stubs'...)
So first thought is, in December 2006 I was at H's side the entire time when his grandma died, I went to everything with him, and supported him while he cried, etc...By the time my grandma died 5 months later, May 07, he had just bought his secret phone two weeks before and started sleeping with HER 3 weeks before.......how is that possible? It pisses me off to think how I comforted him at his loss but during mine, he was carrying around his girlfriend phone...WTF
Then I see the V-Day card, from when [censored] was an infant, just before the affair started. He wrote "Even though things get hectic and days race by so fast...I want you to know that being with you and our young family is all I ask in life! I Love You very much and will you be my Valentine? Love ya, Dan"
How can being with your family be all you ask in life and then you turn around and say it is making you miserable?
I just want to box up all his sh!t today while I am home with sick D and tell him to call me when he isn't an ass.....but we have kids so I can't do that.
Can I at least punch him or something?
I was very pleased last night that we had a nice dinner together with the kids, but now I just feel like he is getting everything he wants, even if he says he is miserable. He gets to have all the time in the world with the kids when he wants to (but I would never keep the kids from him anyway), he gets to see me for however long he feels like, he gets to keep up the appearance of being a family man, then he gets to go curl up in a ball on the couch when no one else but me can see him and say he can't do this anymore......
