it's called grief. Has to do with how much you have lost and it can't really be swept under the rug or rationalized away or it will come back to hit you hard. IC may or may not help. Some sort of spirituality and lots of time is ultimately needed.
I am a shell of myself today, I can feel you when you say things are colorless.........you mentioned trying to resign the other day, I take it you are not enjoying the job whatsoever at this point, or is it that you can't focus on it when you are doing it? Thinking of you...
Woog, I'll be joining you over here in Surviving soon, so can you get the Stoli out of the freezer? My sister gave me a journal recently with the following quote: 'A year from now, you'll wish you had started yesterday'. It keeps me going when the bad things show up in threes/fives/droves. Peace.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
One afternoon after school I was sitting in a circle with friends and unknowns who were sharing something illicit. I asked a friend.. what do I do, I don't smoke pot?? She whispered something helpful. When it came my turn, I (the virgin) smiled and said, "It's bad for the baby."
Anyway...
No matter how bad or terrible things are, a silver lining exists... a nugget of learning, truth and wisdom. It's there to find, it's there to lift you up, it's there. And that kernel helps you be a better person for the rest of your life. At least it does for me.
Now with this rending of family.. I don't look for the silver lining. I look to live.
My boss and I had a long talk last night and we both agreed that it's not working between us right now. We are both going to think about whether or not it can be fixed. If not, I move on.
Here is the problem: If I leave this company it means I'm leaving town (North Idaho). There are few jobs for what I do around here. Well, that means I leave my kids. My ex has already told me that I can't ever move them and the law says I would need her approval.
