That was such a good thing to do. I am happy for her. Just remember this may be a hard time for D14 so keep in contact as much as possible. You are such a sweet guy!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thanks for the reminder, Kat. Of course, XW paints a picture of how good D14 and her STBH get along, but you are right -- even if they get along well there must be some difficulties in adjustment. She will have to share XW with someone else for the first time in a long time. Probably another move in store for them, also.
W is getting nervous about Thanksgiving. Worried about how D14 and her will get along. Worried about how my parents will treat her. She never got used to the stoic cold demeanor that is so typical of Chinese parents. All her worrying is getting me nervous too. These things have a way of becoming self-fulfilling prophesies.
Last Thanksgiving was so awful, though, I am just happy that I have a family this year. It is really hard for me to get too worried. It was around this time that her R with XOM really started to flourish. Anything that happens this year can't hold a candle to that.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
Are you still paying spousal support to XW? If so, that should be a nice bonus for you when she gets married.
I too am getting nervous about meeting GF40's large family this Sunday for their church thanksgiving feast. The mixed culture thing never bothered me with STBX (Thai) or GF40 (Vietnamese). I am more concerned about the diffences in religion (I am not religious) and whether her family is going to have difficulty with that. Her father is a Lutheran minister in 2 churches and her family is getting suspicious that she has been spending a lot of time with a mystery guy (me). I have met a couple brothers and we get along great.
You need to be there with you W the whole time she is with your parents so as to smooth over any awkward moments.
No more spousal support (thank goodness). The real bonus will be W realizing some of the challenges I have had with D14 as she deals with many of the same issues. Maybe some actual co-parenting in this regard will come out of this? I hope so.
Thanks for the comment about not leaving W alone with my parents. I think it is a good thought.
Plans have changed, now. As Thanksgiving approaches, SD9 has decided she'd like to come with us, rather than spend the long weekend with her father. SD9 and I are getting along great, so I am glad she wants to come. But the dynamic between D14 and SD9 has always been a real issue for all of us. I am trying to stay optimistic about it, but bracing for conflict at the same time.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
They might both be battling for your attention now. I would try to find things that both the girls can do with you, even if it is simple as watching movies. Nothing like sibling rivalry to wish you had one!! lol (Just joking, the 4 keep me hopping but I wouldn't trade them for anything.)
Just keep your eyes and ears open and be you. Everything will be fine. Remember "as if"?
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Last full work day and call before the long weekend. We'll hopefully head out to NYC some time around midday tomorrow. We're planning to watch the parade Thanksgiving morning, then to my brother's place for the day. The rest of the weekend is unscripted, except we have tickets to see "Hairspray" Friday night. We'll be coming back home Sunday.
Fingers are crossed for a crisis-less family gathering...
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
I hear you! Have an awesome holiday, you all so deserve it. Drive safely. I am really thankful that you found your way to my thread. You have been a really good friend. Thanks again.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Last Thanksgiving was so awful, though, I am just happy that I have a family this year.
Hi gforce, I have been trying to call out some troops to go help a young woman that is new to the board whose H had just left her and yesterday and today have been .....well you know how it's been b/c you have been there. Know you are busy, but if you should get a chance, please go take a look and see if you can say something to help her hang on. Most everyone who have posted, so far, are pretty new to the board, except for Puppy and me and you know what a pair we are...lol. I'll give you the short cut to where she starts getting into trouble, this is her first real thread and not long.
I'm flattered that you think I can help, and am honored you still stop by. I posted on her thread.
The weekend here in NYC is going well.SD9 got along great with my neices which allowed D14 to relax some. W is stressed but is really doing great dealing with it. The love I feel for her when I see her efforts is immense. Not a perfect Tday by far, but a great one, still.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
