IF this is going to be a new marriage and a new relationship you need to have new thoughts and new expectations about what you want from this relationship.
What exactly does your Husband want you to change about yourself? Anything at all to do with control issues?
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
When H and I got married, it was decided that I would stay home, raise the kids and homeschool them as well as take care of the home which I did while H worked.
When this MLC began, he changed his tune and would say that he is tired of paying for everything and that it is time for someone else to step up to the plate and pay for things.
He did not make enough money for us to go on shopping sprees and buy a lot of things. I would always ask him before I bought anything for myself or the kids and it was usually something we needed.
Your h sounds like he works a lot and is very tired. He is tired from this mlc as well.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
BND I understand where you are coming from, but is it foreign to expect a h to provide for his family?
Maybe I am a little old fashion, but I still feel the man should be the provider. That is what I expect from my h. I don't think I can change the thinking of my inner core.
When I selected h to marry it seemed that was his beliefs. It's not like he announced that, but it was a given. He paid for everything for years and my income contributed.
I see my h getting sick MWG again from exhaustion and over working himself.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Ok so h called a bunch of times yesterday throughout the day. Updating me on his day. It sounded like it went well. I know he wasn't feeling well and did his best.
He called en route to the airport and said he was running behind. He called right before his flight left and I missed the call. I called back and his phone was off. I am thinking he made it back or I am sure he would have called.
I did mention to him if he was coming over on Fri. He said in the afternoon, not sure if that has changed today since he wasn't feeling well. We will see what the day brings.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
Sounds like he needs some serious sleep/rest time.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
No word from h yet today. I called him and left a message. I had to buy s4 some winter clothes. It's so cold and her choices are sparse. I wanted to check with h first and ask if it was ok.
He didn't answer, so I left a message. I can return them if he is not ok with it. Not that I want to spend money, but she needed a few tops to wear.
I also bought holiday outfits for the kids for photo setting. We always get photos done of the kids and give to h's family.
We will see what the rest of today brings.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
It's nice that you asked H for approval on the clothes, but since it's a necessity, I don't think you should've had to ask. Now if you wanted to spend the money on a bucket of candy, or something you/they don't need, then that's a whole other story.
It's freezing here too and I have to get more clothes for D too. She needs warmer pants and hates where jeans or anything too "confining".
You are right FG I shouldn't have to ask, but a 180 for me is including h in decsion making and even the little stuff. Rather than just spending, now I try to include my h. Otherwise some of his comments are there you go making decisions on your own again.
Now the last few v-mails regarding this he never responded, so he was either very busy or wasn't concerned that I spent the money.
I am trying to remember the love and respect thing.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
