Daisy and Sep, don't be mad at me but I got the computer to work. It was actually for me too as we use it to burn DVDs, and I hated the thought of being without for potentially weeks. I have always been the one who is better with electronics and things, so it was sort of normal that I would be able to do this. H seemed pretty pleased last night when he got home, and called me over to show me lots of things that his new laser mouse could do. He was like a little kid with a new toy.
We went to bed and there was a little joking around, just light banter again, no real conversations, no ML. I don't think we have any plans tonight. Well we don't seem to make plans these days anyway beyond errands, but that's OK. I suspect H may be going out to drinks with colleagues, and I am more than fine with that, especially since in the past I would have been annoyed.
Oh, and I swear I wasn't intentionally planning to snoop, but I saw this small notebook by the computer when I was playing around with it. It was under a credit card that H hadn't yet activated. I just opened it as it actually looked like one of my own notebooks at first glance, and H had written out a bunch of details about cognitive disorders. Maybe he got the info from his therapist, not sure. Anyway it was very interesting as I think there were around 10 examples. One of them was in essence the self-fulfilling prophecy, believing something will not turn out so acting to ensure this happens. One was magnification, turning a small incident into so much more that it taints everything. The example was a drop of ink in a cup of water. I was blown away. To be honest these were all sort of things that I had been thinking about how my H was blaming me and the marriage for everything, in an excessive way. I know there were real issues, but I was shocked at how much he had made those issues the only issues in his life.
I think perhaps he is making progress with his IC, and maybe this is part of the reason that things have improved. I don't feel comfortable with asking at this point, but I do know that he is still going on a weekly basis. He just seems, not sure how to put this, but like he is reluctantly realizing that I am not the cause of his unhappiness...I'm assuming there, but in any case was pleased to see that he has been thinking about things.
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
