Trixi aka "The Pitbull who can't let go"

[Trixi]

Hey Nik-
thanks for asking. Actually there has been a lot of drama, but it involved my stepson and my in-laws. My H is still out of the country and won't be back until this Saturday or Sunday.

For the first time since July of 07 I spoke with my in-laws. Stepson needed rides to work (no license yet) and long story short, he is really messed up. While H is away, he is staying with my H's parents. SS tricked me into taking him to the hospital on Monday night for "his back pain". But he told my mother in law he got off work late when she asked why he got home so late. The next night I went to drop SS off and he actually encouraged me to come inside and say hi to the in-laws.
(later, he realized his mistake because she said something about him working late and it all came out that he had lied so he could get drugs.)

This story is so huge. And I am torn. My in-laws would drop a load of crystal coated bricks if they knew the situation at my H's. It became VERY clear to me that they don't know my H has a DUI; that they don't know the 25yo roommate smokes pot all the time.....ugh!!!!! Part of me wants to tell them the ENTIRE situation because they are wanting to "support H" in trying to help his son. UGH I can't even articulate what I am trying to say.

I don't want to "tattle" on my H. But since myself and the in-laws are being expected to "chip in" and help with driving the kid around, getting him to work etc, it seems like they should know that they are probably wasting their energy because of how my H is living...and maybe, just maybe, they would be able to talk some sense into him.

And I'll admit, I am TICKED that they called MY family low class and made it seem like the demise of the marriage was MY fault; and now, without me being there, H is going downhill. I want to say "SEE! Look! It wasn't ME. I flippin' saved his a$$ from himself! It was ME that kept the thing together and kept your son from self destructing!" Yeah, that's what I want to say. I want to say "Thanks for NOTHING. There was no adultery, no abuse, no addiction. The worst thing I did was have a thyroid problem- and instead of telling him to honor his commitment and make the marriage work, you helped him move out. After 10 years of marriage!" Yeah. that's what I would LIKE to say.

But I won't.

They want me to come by their house after I pick up H at the airport. (Assuming I am, that is.) They want us all to sit down and talk before SS has a chance to fill H's head full of lies.

I spent 3 hours with them night before last, 2.5 hours with them last night and then they called me tonight. My MIL said that she tried to call earlier because she was upset over something and was all "I have to call Trixi. I need to talk to Trixi."

The reason SS encouraged me to go in and say 'hi' was because my MIL told him that she was upset by something my H said. My H called up his sister and complained to her that he was mad at his mother for basically shutting me out of her life. When the sister told her that, she was hurt and upset because she "loved me" but didn't know "what her place" was in my life. {side note- I was glad to hear my H was mad about that.}

This whole thing has me very confused. And it is bringing up a lot of hurt. Maybe someday I can tell my MIL just how deeply they hurt me. For now, the focus is on trying to get SS straightened out. I feel like I am somehow an complicit if I don't speak up and tell them what is *really* going on in that house. ARGH!