Hi Sophie - seems like you are getting some good advice and using the board to vent and clear your head. That is a really good thing for you.

Sophie - I know you've done a lot of work releasing 'control' of issues - and you should be very proud of yourself of how well you did that with the Husband/kids relationship stuff.

It's time now to take the next step to understanding that you can't do anything to draw him out of his depression or send him under into depression - that's all on him. This crisis that you are so horribly affected by is all abaout him and all you can do is detach from it and try to not let his decisions impact on your life.

Ok - it does impact on your life that he has filed for divorce - but it's not really a surprise to you after all this time is it? Given he's at this stage now, the best thing you can do is to protect yourself and your children in the financial negotiations that fall out of that. If you are married or divorced doesn't matter much in terms of if you'll reconcile. I know and have read about a surprising number of couples who've divorced and remarried - but if you are getting divorced, it does matter in terms of protecting your investments. You know that.

Quote:
I feel detached enough.


Girlfriend, you are no where near detached. when you are detached you don't think about the sitch 24/7. When you are detached you don't care what's happening to him, about him or with him. When you are detached you are living your life and if he happens to visit in on it from time to time, that's OK - but it doesn't matter to you - because when you are detached you are OK on your own.

You get detached by dealing with business and working on you. You keep your PMA as high as possible, you GAL and you Act as If you were already completely detached.

you can do it. You are strong and you'll be OK.

Take care

V

Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.