LE-I'm glad you are thinking. I just want you to make the best choice for you no matter what the outcome in terms of your M. But you know what, sometimes you have to just take a step back from it too. Let yourself breathe and get out of the pain for a while.
As far as kids, which you know is what I have been on you about the most, for all of you, you have to remember your role and I will continue to say that until I really believe that you've got it. I do not doubt you love them.
Unfortunately, some decide that D is the best option. I can't tell you if it is or not. Hell, I can't even tell myself that. But I will support you whatever you decide in that respect.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.