Do you ever tell her that you love her? Or has that been stricken from your vocabulary due to DB'ing?
A couple of times over the months...slips of the tongue. Once I got a "I know you do", and the other was after we had been drinking and that was "You really do love me, don't you?"
It is on the tip of my tongue every time I am near her....more fear.
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Maybe it's time to test the waters.
What's the worst that will happen? She could tell you once again that she still intends to separate.
It would hurt for sure, but really, been there done that.
Probably not an option the way I have been feeling. The holidays, the work we are doing around the house now...to hear that she is not feeling any different right now would not make me want to try even harder. As easy as she has made this for me, it's not like I haven't tried...some days I just get so tired of walking that line.
If I am going to get hurt, it's going to be one more big hurt, not a bunch more little ones over the coming months...maybe I will know when the time is right to bring it up again, or maybe she will on her own, for good or bad.
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I'm not sure that you can handle doing it without launching into a full blown relationship talk however. And in your current state, if you get a negative response, you may well let it all rip and come across to her as the old NDS. That is the danger I think.
Yes...he has been close lately...guess that is where the venting is coming from. Going to try to find an outlet over the next few days, but even that will be harder now....committed to the work on the house now...can't just blow her off, and it will be trying my patience doing it and wondering in the back of my head about where we are going with it all.
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You have told us, many times, that your wife is one of the kindest and sweetest women that you know. You have told us that she is not capable of inflicting intentional harm on others, whether out of spite or just for general purpose.
So what makes you think your wife would be so cold as to involve you in these couple activities only to push you out the door at some point in the near future?
This is also the woman who told me when asked, for the year prior to the bomb if every thing was OK, told me yes.
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I know, I know. Your line is that she THINKS you are ok with the upcoming separation plan.
That bugs me...was it wrong to continually tell her when the subject came up.."I know..I am going to be fine..when we get things in order, I am out of your hair, don't worry." That always seemed to be exactly what she wanted to hear...not that I wanted to fight for the marriage, but that I was OK with it and I would be OK without her. Have I just convinced her of that?
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Not sure I've helped, but those are my thoughts.
You always help...this time though, I just don't think I can bring myself to following your advice and putting myself on the line.
