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Who goes to bed first? If you do, could you approach her, say goodnight, I have something for you, give it to her, then go to bed? Not that you'd fall asleep easily.... \:\)


Me-35

Together: 18 yrs
M-12.5 yrs
S-8
D-4
D'd: Feb. 2010

The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save. --Zeph. 3:17
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Good luck Jeff!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers...


Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..

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Tonight's the big night, eh?!!! ;\)

It's all going to work out. \:\)

(((((((Jeff)))))))


Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
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Is she still ill Jeff?

I'm thinking of you!


M- May 2006
D - Aug 2010
Now travelling the world
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Good letter Jeff. It may be something she would reflect back on if your marriage does fail. Just realize that there are no magic words that are going to change someones mind right away to start loving you again. Keep the expectations low.

The only thing I might have changed is to try to show a bit more husbandly leadership. At the end, you kind of leave it up to her to decide the path - reconciliation (what you want) or separation/divorce. You do point out that the status quo is not working, but you dont say what you will do if she tries to stay with the status quo.

Maybe it would do more harm than good if you did try to be too strong by saying if the status quo continues that you will be forced to file for a separation or a divorce. It may be best to hold that off for any subsequent letters depending upon how she reacts to this one. Give her plenty of time to absorb and think about this one.

I hope there is some movement in your frustrating situation soon. You so deserve the love which comes from a good marriage.

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(((((GF)))))
Tonight is it.

(((((Julia)))))
She isn't well, but she is improved. She went to work today, in any case.

Kerry,
I didn't say what I would do for a couple of reasons. Originally I brought up S and D more strongly, but most of the folks here thought it would be better not to put that in the forefront at this point. Also, by not saying, I have the flexibility to do things on my terms, in my time, but knowing that she can't be surprised.

I don't know how she will react. I expect most people would get defensive at first, and probably attack, so I am prepared for that. After it sinks in a bit, I hope that maybe, just maybe, something good comes from it.

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((((Jeff)))))

Good luck buddy! I'm rooting for you.

How about attaching it to her "infamous" bathroom mirror?


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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((((Jeff))))

Good Luck with the letter. One quick thought- would handwritten be better? It would maybe be a bit more personal, but you know W best (from your thread I assume she may not have a preference but just thought I'd throw it out there). I have my fingers crossed that it provokes some thought and consideration of the M. It's a GREAT letter.

L. xx

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He writes in chicken-scratch Lisa. She probably couldn't read it!


T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43
bomb12/4/07
PA5/07
S12/26/07
D final 11/17/08
Back together with no defined R 05/2010
confused....to say the least!!!

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Posts: 13,424
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(((((Mishka)))))
The mirror.... interesting thought!

(((((Lisa)))))
I thought about handwritten, but Mishka is right, my writing falls apart after about ten words. Party due to a long ago injury, and partly just because it does! I think the printer can do a much better job!

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