Do you ever tell her that you love her? Or has that been stricken from your vocabulary due to DB'ing?
Maybe it's time to test the waters.
What's the worst that will happen? She could tell you once again that she still intends to separate.
It would hurt for sure, but really, been there done that.
You know that she was close to saying something significant a couple weeks ago. I'm sure you remember the conversation well. The one where she stopped herself and you reassured her that she didn't need to say anything she wasn't quite ready to say?
From the outside looking in, it is incredibly easy to tell you to continue to go with the flow and WAIT for the words to come naturally. But it's clear that you're finding it harder and harder to live in the uncertainty.
All I can think of is to tell you that you could try dipping your toes in the water and see what the response is.
I'm not sure that you can handle doing it without launching into a full blown relationship talk however. And in your current state, if you get a negative response, you may well let it all rip and come across to her as the old NDS. That is the danger I think.
I'll just leave you with these thoughts.
You have told us, many times, that your wife is one of the kindest and sweetest women that you know. You have told us that she is not capable of inflicting intentional harm on others, whether out of spite or just for general purpose.
So what makes you think your wife would be so cold as to involve you in these couple activities only to push you out the door at some point in the near future?
I know, I know. Your line is that she THINKS you are ok with the upcoming separation plan.
Do you really believe that?
Look for the inconsistencies in your thinking. Many of your worries are fear based. They exist because of the limbo-land that you see yourself to be living in.
So maybe it's time to tell her that you love her. With all your heart. Hell, go as far as seems appropriate given the mood and medium.
Not sure I've helped, but those are my thoughts.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
