Tawnya...sry bout that!! Had a good time last night....only mild hangover...no drinking and driving for me so I stayed put. Spent a little "me time" today...I actually went clothes shopping by myself!! When I got home W was on a cleaning frenzy! I asked what I could help with and did it happily...ok....we have a small flea problem so that's what all the cleaning is about! The "normal" interaction is nice but wierd.... She went to a movie and dinner with her uncle so all is quiet here. Quiet is good... Gonna hang with my kids and fold some laundry....I know ladies...secksy?!?
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
Tuesday was our oldest daughters birthday.....and her parents ruined it.
Monday night As part of our "agreement" W pays some money to still live at home. I call her up and ask her if she can pay the water bill...she says ok...nothing else said.
Tuesday after work
D12 wants to go to Texas Roadhouse for her birthday dinner. Cheerleading is at 6:30 so W and I both get off early enough to have dinner at 4:30. I get home about 3:45 and W starts in on me rite away about my $ handling skills. SHE never had problems....she always got it rite...look how irresponsible YOU are. I tell her I am keeping everything together as best I can AND trying to pay for an attorney. She starts with her usual spew.....then declares I am NOT GOING to dinner!! I am trying to stay calm...biting my tounge...listening as best I can and asking her to please calm down. I tell her you cannot stop me from going...I will sit at the next table if I have to....it is my daughters bday too. Now she starts spewing about lawyers...and how she told hers SHE had to pay the water bill...etc..etc. She then spouts off about how I am gonna "take her kids away from her"!! I reply....as calmly as possible...they arey kids too I am not "taking them away". She repeats again about my not going...I say maybe we should ask our daughter it's her bday.
Kids are upstairs...I know they can hear her yelling...we proceed upstairs and I tell my daughter...mommy doesn't want me too go...D starts to get mad and wife blurts out....your dad is gonna take you guys from me!! Now everyone is crying...emotional...mad you name it!! D says if we all don't go no one goes. A is yelling at me....I start to lose it.....and admit my W is having an affair....I still see my kids faces when I think about it....I don't know why I said it or what part lead up to it....I have been SOOOO pleasent to be around and holding stuff in that I just exploded!!!! By now D9 is upstairs....D12 is telling me and W to LEAVE just leave. One of my friends W calls to say happy bday to D and D asks her to pick the 2 of them up. Kids leave...W opens up on me again.....I am stern... not evil...but I don't back down. She trys to blame me for EVERYTHING that has ever happened between us.....I cry bullchit! We go back and forth abit...we both calm down...W asks me if I am gonna change so we can get the girls...I put on a hat we go get them to at least get some ice cream. We go get kids...have to go back home for something...I decide I cannot go...W takes kids for ice cream...I go for a walk...and cry. I felt...and still feel like the worst parent on earth
W drops off D for cheerleading...brings home ice cream and some dinner for all of us. Me W and D9 eat a kinda normal meal...
W and I exchange a couple emails yesterday about what happened...I am trying to get them posted up so you guys can see them. I get home from work Wednesday and I go to apologize to the girls....D12 won't even look at me when I speak...D9 says she did the same to mom last night....W brings home subs for dinner and we eat as a family...kids had counseling last night...W dropped off..I picked up
H 34 W 31 M 11yrs D 11 D 9
6-1-08 I wanted to fix marriage 6-11-08 I found out about OM
That was really rough. I feel so sorry for your kids. Happy b-day hunh?
If you have any trouble staying detached, keep this current wife in mind. It'll give you the, "what do I have to lose" attitude that may help you act as though you have no stake in the outcome. In the future...walk away from spew. She pushed your buttons and you responded. Just walk away. She's divorcing you...why do you care if she claims you are a lousy person. "Yada yada yada...I know. You don't love me. I'm a terrible person. I can't handle money...yada yada yada. It's not your problem anymore because you are divorcing me. So why spew?" She wants you to hurt....don't let her do it. You know your own worth. Don't bother explaining yourself to her anymore. If she can't see the good in you then that's her problem. Again, I'm sorry you went through that.
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
that was harsh. I'm so sorry that your kids have to witness the agitation from your W.
I agree with PD that walking away from her when she baits you is the best option. Can't let that anger get you riled up; it justs solidfies in her mind that you are the "bad" one.
hey as i quietly sneak in to see if theres man love going on in here too lol.
so sorry about your D's bday. my kids say the same thing about my H. that he started another fight.
hang in there my friend. i am praying for you and the kiddos!
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
{{{{Carpenter}}}} Aww man..I'm so sorry..you know..there are times we just mess up..but the kids will be okay..YOU know that..YOU need to forgive yourself..they will forgive you too and I just pray for peace and strength for you my friend!
Tawnya
Me:39 H:40 D18/S12 M20/T21 Bomb 10/11/08 One Two Three Four
She wants you to hurt....don't let her do it. You know your own worth. Don't bother explaining yourself to her anymore. If she can't see the good in you then that's her problem. Again, I'm sorry you went through that.