All these betraying spouses are always going to surprise. In fact expect it. They live in a place we call Fog land. Yes they are self centered and its all about them.
Your spouse is in the fog so if you expect rational reasoning and responsibility you are going to be the one who gets hurt and frustrated. Try to have no expectations from him right now and sad to say but even with parenting. Seen it over and over. They are not the parent or spouse you once knew. No amount of reasoning is going to get through their fogged head. Time helps but thats it.
I really think you should jump in with both feet and GAL. I started salsa lessons 3 weeks after discovery. Did i want to? Not really. Did I feel like it? Not really i wanted to lay in bed i was miserable. But I forced myself to continue on living and to GAL because there is something to it.
Its good for spouses to see you continuing to live and become strong and confident. I personally think it shakes them a bit. I think they wonder how dare you not revolve every second of your mind and emotions not on me. Why are you having fun?
Please don't skip the GAL. It's in the book because its been tested and proven out. You need to invest in you right now and if your marriages comes around then H can benefit from the new you. How are your 180's going?
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
