They are now D. Mishka is not DBing (?). Yes, some time needs to go by, for Mish to be ready/stronger and for Gabe to reflect on the changes in his life.. but one day, I dont see the harm in TRYING to have a conversation with your ex-husband. We cant assume that he will not be able to do it, or lay all the blame at Mishkas door. Maybe he would at the bomb, or after, or even now if the D is still raw, but then, time has a big effect here. I did it, and it wasnt a panacea, but it was revealing and it was better than not trying. It depends if you need to do it or not and also, if you are still DB hard-wired, which prevents R talks, if not, then why not be yourself and ask away.
Sometimes, we dont need to bother.. I didnt when I broke up with a live-in BF of 4 1/2 years. We had one conversation about 2/3 years later, it was midly interesting, but I wasnt that bothered.
But if there are unanswered questions, why not try lay those ghosts to rest?? Who knows, he may surprise us all and actually want to talk about it Mishka, one day.
Al x
I'll give ya that..
I predict 10 years from now if Gabe does not get IC or help in figuring out why he is such a failure then he will spew the same stuff he spews now and blame the same people and any new people he meets for all his problems..
see if one thing this place has taught me is PEOPLE CAN AND WILL CHANGE IF THEY SEEK HELP. THEY CAN'T DO IT ON THEIR OWN.. If they are to coward, prideful, stubborn to seek that help then they flounder and their life sucks..it's their choice to make..
it's up to us to stop trying to rescue them and move forward..
