Well Tomorrow is the “Date".. Well the first day of it.. The whole day will be Saturday. I have a question posted on my site if ya got time. Or I can just ask ya here. Should I plan the "bath" on Friday the day I will be leaving W there by herself? Or Saturday night when I am there... I am leaning towards Friday.. This will give her time to be by herself and maybe think things out.....Maybe think about me….
Doc
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Didi, I'm glad you continue to update us. It's nice to see a success story and realize that a WAS does suddenly realize what they are losing. The thing that I see about your post is that you are not taking anything for granted. You realize that your marriage was given a second chance. I see that communication is playing a key role in your restoration.
I too pray now I like I have never prayed before. I'm ashamed to admit that, but maybe sometimes we do need a wakeup call to see how important prayer is.
Thanks for all you do for everyone.
Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I can agree with the above posts. I am happy that you and your H are doing good. You have inspired and have given great insights to many people on here. I do appreciate you dropping by my thread.
Take care and best wishes for your future.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Sugar- I am. I deactivated for a while because I was getting too distracted with all of it, but then reactivated it because I wanted to see Hope4us's pictures. Btw, hope, nice! So, yes, I'm there. If you can find Kat, you can find me.
Busy Thanksgiving weekend. Spent time with my family and it was the first family event that I felt married and happy again. My parents commented on how my H seemed happier than he has ever been as well as myself.
Cut our Christmas tree down, decorated it, decorated the house, H put up tons of white lights outside, candles in the windows....very Christmasy! The last few Christmases, did "just enough" for our son....heart wasn't in it.
Only bad time was when all family was together and brother made comment about his friend's wife having an affair and now they are divorced and another friend same thing. Mom says, "Boy, lots of cheating spouses!!!" I think to myself, "If you only knew your daughter and sister is one of those cheating spouses."
Talked to Mom on the phone and at one point this weekend, and we talk about my cousin and their impending divorce and I say how that could have been us and she says, "Thank goodness you both hadn't found someone else during that separation time otherwise I'm not sure you would have made it." I think to myself, "If you only knew."
Constant reminders......Will and Grace repeats on TV and how Grace's husband cheats on her. We watch, my H and I, H rubbing my feet. Nothing said.
I need to forgive myself, yet how can I do this with the constant reminders that make me feel ashamed? I think about how some wives seem to act like it never happened...maybe this is why...it's the only way to forgive and move on??????
Wdid, this was posted over the holiday by Techguy and I thought it might help.
Here is a few paragraphs from Pema Chodron on the topic: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One of the most powerful teachings of the Buddhist tradition is that as long as you are wishing for things to change, they never will. As long as you're wanting yourself to get better, you won't. As long as you have an orientation toward the future, you can never just relax into what you already have or already are.
One of the deepest habitual patterns that we have is to feel that now is not good enough. We think back to the past a lot, which maybe was better than now, or perhaps worse. We also think ahead quite a bit to the future - which we may fear - always holding out hope that it might be a little bit better than now. Even if now is going really well -there's a deep tendency always to think about how it's going to be later. We don't quite give ourselves full credit for who we are in the present.
Nowadays, people go to a lot of different places trying to find what they're looking for. There are 12 -step programs; someone told me that there is now a 24-step program; someday there will probably be a 108-step program. There are a lot of support groups and different therapies. Many people feel wounded and are looking for something to heal them. To me it seems that at the root of healing, at the root of feeling like a fully adult person, is the premise that you're not going to try to make anything go away, that what you have is worth appreciating. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Take comfort in the present. You are in a good place right now in your M and a source of hope to all of us on this board.
