I know you are in the middle of a "Hot Mess", but may I impose on you for just a moment to ask your opinion?
W and I met for dinner last night (at her invitation). We talked a lot of things, but she brought up the topic of her going back into therapy. She said that she is real confused about how she feels. On the one hand she craves her independence and wants to be free from any R ties. She wants to feel self-reliant. On the other hand she wants the security that I give her. She has enjoyed the past two weekends and has appreciated me respecting her wishes in cretin areas of our R.
She said I may not like or want to be with the type of person that she turns out to be after therapy and this process may time a long time. I do not know what she is defining as a long time. I told her that we will cross that bridge when it comes, but it will then be a choice we both will make.
I asked her why she was considering taking off her wedding banned. She said it would symbolize being independent. It was not to make her self availed on the dating market. I offered my wedding band to her to hold until she is ready to seriously to start working on the R/M. She declined to take it. She was relieved to know that 1, I was not ready to be divorced and 2, I was not ready to take off my ring.
I request that she consider going with to MC after she gets to a point in her therapy that she can work on our R/M. She agreed in theory to this request.
She wants to keep things like they are for now and move slowly. I agreed. I told her that I can not read her mind, so she will have to tell me what wants or dose not want. She agreed.
There is a lot more, but I think you get the drift. It is my impression that her mind and emotions are pulling in two directions. She is real confused. She thought that being divorced is what she wanted, but now she is not so sure.
