I read in "Women's Infidelity" that women all have their dream for a wonderful married life. They find a man, convince him to make a committment and marry them, get a nice house, have a child, success in their jobs... Then after they have everything that they thought they ever wanted... They re-assess their lives and realize that they still aren't happy... another man comes along to listen to their problems and complaints about their husbands and they become swept off their feet, think they love this man and have an affair. Now the WAW has everything - but is guilty about the left behind husband and seeks to separate so she can continue the affair guilt free. When the WAW then seeks committment from the OM (the man of her dreams) - he usually leaves, as he is purely a "home-wrecker". The WAW usually continues to go out to seek another man - she may never go back to the husband as she blames the husband for all of her problems and her need to look elsewhere because the husband was the one who she truly believes "put her in this position".
Similar things happen when the man has the affair, except that maybe the man having the affair often wants both the affair and the spouse. The man is afraid of losing his family, whereas the woman does not, as she knows the courts usually favor the women in custody.
Things are tough - we, the left behind spouse - are powerless to do anything the moment our WAW has checked out of the marriage. We just have to live our lives the best we can and go on. There is a chance they will come back some day - but will we still want them after all they put us through - will we have already established new lives by then ?
Me:40 / W:33 / D:3 T:7.5/M:4 D Day: 1/24/08 Legal Separated: 6/12/08 BF who sleeps over: confirmed 11/10/08 Suspect BF pre-dates D Day
