Wow great thread, saw it spoken of on another thread so quickly skimmed.
One thing I have wondered is would Imageer feel as he does if his wife had had an affair with a man, would knowing that that relationship ie hetro possibly produce children make him feel differently or would his pride/manhood whatever, have been hurt more had it been a man.

The other point I am unsure of is Is MLC / Infidelity really an illness,most times these people function on every other level just as normal even though they display signs of depression or eratic behaviour to their spouse. Not true depression in my book more like guilt showing through when they are confronted by the reality of their actions. I know this does not apply to all but in more cases than we are led to believe.

Again the "its takes two to break up a marriage", inferring both partners led to it's demise. Well maybe it does take 2 but that is usually when there are 3 people in that marriage.

I agree forgiveness is necessary at some point for our own sakes,not the WAW, but even that has to be furthur down the road.
I worry that openly being WAW's best friend is betraying our own moral code especially when young children are involved. What example to we set to them. This is complicated and a very grey area. we need to show forgiveness,we need to keep a relationship going between WAW's and their children,we do not want to bad mouth or WAW's but neither to we want to convey that this acceptable behaviour.

Many WAW's simply do not want to be friends with their partners.
Cordiality I think is the key, taking the moral high ground and being as civil as possible.

I could never ever be a listening ear for my x's problems certainly not those that involved OP. The hurt and pain would be too great.Just my POV.

I accept my relatives faults and flaws (as they do mine) because we are related. I am much more selective over who I have as a friend.Friendship and especially best friend is a two way street, confidences are shared, you love and support each other. Being best friends with your x is a one way street because how do you confide all the hurt and pain you are in because of them. You can't so you keep it in, that is to me dishonesty. Not a basis for a friendship.

Gosh didn't realise I had typed so much. Sorry.
Will read with interest others POV.