Puppy I did not say that the acknowledged failures on your part were the moral equivalent of her adultery. They absolutely are NOT the same! She blew it in a much more devastating way than you did, yes.
But what'd that awareness get you - or anyone else? Not a damn thing. Puppy, I really don't know your sitch well enough to comment on it personally but what I do know is this: if you believe in your heart that your marriage can be saved then you will move heaven and earth to stand long enough to see it happen. And if you get sick and tired of standing, you will stop. And it is not for me or anyone else to try to make you change your mind no matter WHAT you choose to do. If you are looking for something to believe in here at this website or from the people here, you are going to be terribly disappointed because you can only find that by looking inward (and upward, if you are so inclined).
People have the ability to overcome tremendous hurts caused by one another. What is required first before that can happen is a genuine and expressed regret on the part of the wrongdoer. Absent that, well...who the hell I am to tell you what you ought to do other than try to forgive her in your own heart for YOUR OWN SAKE? There's nothing else I CAN tell you. And I sure as hell ain't gonna tell you that you HAVE to be her friend because you do not.
