It's Tx Mom.. 2nd thread.. trying to hold on...

[PositivelyMommy]

{{{{Tx}}}}, Amy is SOOOOO right!! You too are a great woman. Her comment 'Once you can figure out how to stop looking at yourself through only your H's (currently blurry) eyes, you'll be able to see what I see!' VERY INSIGHTFUL!

H is in the blame-game at the moment so he doesn't feel like a jerk for abandoning you and the kids.

It's easier to blame you than to look into himself and examine why your R fell apart for him.

It's laziness, a shortcut.

Don't do the same yourself. You take a good look at yourself. Don't believe EVERYTHING he says. Yes, you had problems. Yes, the marriage isn't perfect. But what relationship is? You KNOW you were not unreasonable. You KNOW you were a good wife. You didn't cheat, do drugs, have a gambling problem, were abusive to H or kids, were you? If not, then he has NO EXCUSE for his behavior. Period.

Like Amy said, H has blurry eyes. That's why DB suggests GAL, taking care of yourself and taking your focus off H. Then you will gain some peace and won't have to go on medication. Are you moody when you're not thinking about H and OW? Are you moody around other people? If not, then the problem is not about chemical imbalance, your problem is that you have a jerk for a H (sorry for being so blunt). Sorry, sorry. I am not saying you should give up or M or not. Just take a timeout from his antics and nurse yourself.

I promise, once you detach, you will feel a WHOLE lot better. Do what pleases you. Write a list of all the things you want to do but haven't tried, is it skydiving, singing lessons,kickboxing, salsa dancing? When I was at your stage, I took up knitting. It was great! Why? I didn't have to concentrate too hard, it was very therapeutic and kind of like meditation, slowed my heart-rate because of its repetitive nature. And I got these wondeful gifts for friends and family! Now, I don't need to knit anymore because I found that peace within myself most of the time. This will happen for you too. It just takes a little time. Be patient with yourself.

YOU are the most important person in the world! You are a GOOD PERSON. You are kind, caring and giving. You know that.