K - I do agree and I did such self analysis myself but I also understand where LE is. Even after doing all that, accepting my M is over and just trying to be reasonable, friendly, compromising, flexible etc for the kids my STBX still chooses to spew constantly and the nastiness is getting worse. She has said things to me in the last couple of weeks, that I didn't need to know. Why ? to hurt me more for some reason. Why do they then want to keep hurting us ? Because they are hurting themselves perhaps ? Because they see the changes and think if we could of done this sooner they would not of made the choices they had ? I just don't know and I try not to worry or think about it to much.
I think you just have to keep GALing, DBing yourself to be that better person and let the WAS make their own decision. We've all accepted we've made mistakes and how our WAS may have got to the point to do what they did, but we cannot run their lives for them. Work on yourself LE and life will be good for you. You will still have painful moments, you will still crack sometimes through frustration or whatever, but, in time, life will be good again.
