I don't know if it is all passing blame. LE I like what you said about it being her reality. But it wasn't the whole reality or you wouldn't have 2 beautiful children. Just how she is choosing to remember it. So don't be those things anymore. No matter how much you might want to lash out.
No she didn't do the "right" thing. No she is not handling herself in a way that you agree with. Yes her actions are hurting you and others. But step back from it for a second and try to look at it through a strangers eyes. Doesn't know all the dirty details. Would you still be as angry with her or would you be more inclined to wonder what was going on INSIDE OF HER to cause her to act in such a self destructive way? Would you wonder what was creating the confusion in her head? Or are you really so judgemental that you would just stick her in the bad person box and not even attempt to look at her as a person? Never give her the time of day?
When I finally did that, looked at myself and H like that it made a major difference in how I viewed the whole picture. Just my 2cents.
If you focus on the past, you ruin the future. You can only live for today.
