It's official.......what now?

[AliSuddenly]

Hey Mishka...

First of all, you said... "The broom has been involved in at least 3 other D cases my L has handled. She is a major homewrecker......oh, but she "loves him". Yeah, whatever."

YOUR KIDDING?? That is extrodinary. I never knew that, that puts an interesting slant on her text messages then.. this woman does not know or understand the meaning of love. I doubt she truly loves Gabe and I very much doubt she will stay with him. I wouldnt be surprised if she is already casting her net around for the next guy.. maybe not yet, but in time. Dont you think?

Secondly...you said...

Why wasn't I good enough?
Why couldn't he just talk to me about how he was feeling?
What could I have done differently?
Why won't he tell me what I did wrong so I will never make the same mistakes?

ASK HIM ! You dont need to 'DB' him anymore. You are now D and have nothing to lose. You dont need to have an agenda, other than sitting down with the man who you shared 20 years of your life with and trying to have a reasonable conversation with him. Why not ask him to do that for you? Maybe not right away, but when you are a little stronger? You said he talked to your Mum, so he is capable of opening up. If you can approach him without it being a "I'm trying to win you back" thing, just a, I would like us to talk openly with one another, with respect for the years we spent together, to gain some understanding, to help me move on.. then why not? Set an hour or two to do that? I feel a million times better after I did it, although there are still more things I would like to ask, so maybe I will in time.

I dont agree that there are not always answers, the asnwers are there, but may take time to come out, people need time to absorb, reflect and things always become clearer with perspective and the benefit of hindsight. If I were yuo, I would want to sit and talk to my ex and make peace with him/it.

What is the point in any of this? - learning hard life lessons that you needed to learn to grow and evolve. Painful and hard I know, but its true of a lot of us here, myself included.

What the hell is wrong with me? - nothing, you have just been through about the most painful and traumatic and stressful perioud of your life. Dont be so hard on yourself, you are bound to feel anchorless and cr*ppy for a while?

You are doing so well Mish,
Al xxx